Super Sunday: Agla the Great and Scary Monster

Agla the Great

The ocean is a big place. It’s bigger than that stupid surface world that you think so highly of. Only stupid air-breathers would be surprised to learn that there’s a lot going on down there. So often the surface world thinks that the people of the sea want to conquer the surface, but that’s stupid. Agla the Great, a magic using crimelord, has no desire to even go to the surface, not when she can run a whole criminal empire in an area larger than most continents. With a small army at her command to do all sorts of crimes, Agla is living the high life deep below. At least, that was, until a certain quartet of half-fish teens comes along to ruin things…

So I’m doing two mer-people in a row. You got a problem with that? No. You don’t. Because ain’t nobody care about this but me. Anyway, since making the boss of the Aqua-Vikings last time, I’ve been mentally sketching out my undersea world. That’s what I do.

Scary Monster

Picture a scary monster. It’s some kind of ghostly thing, with claws and fangs and it shouts and howls and lunges at people. It dwells in the woods and frightens campers. It’s a monster that is scary.

But is being a scary monster enough? As time goes on, and dozens, or even hundreds, of people have been scared, does the monster feel fulfilled? Not really. It’s his job, but not his passion. He has hobbies (carving things from wood, bird watching, and so on) and sometimes he wishes he could focus on that. Someday, maybe. Someday…

I had a sketch among my notes that was literally just labelled “scary monster”. Can’t argue with that. And so I wrote some sentences there…

Word Fact: “Applause” shares its root with “Apples” because when clapping was invented, people held an apple in each hand and smashed them.

Beekeeper Review: G.O.B. Bluth

George Oscar Bluth Jr. could have been an ideal example of a beekeeper, but his development was stunted by his less than virtuous personality. Born into a rich family, G.O.B. was overwhelmed by all the pressure to be bright, and wound up as a pretty big jerk. Still, he’s a beekeeper. He must have something going for him, right? Let’s find out:

G.O.B. got on board the bee business mostly to spite his family. Even though his business plan isn’t particularly well thought out (“How do you make money from it?” “You know, honey. Or just as gifts.”), he’s stuck with it a lot longer than many of his schemes. For a time, G.O.B. kept his bees in his apartment, keeping them in line with his magic smoke, which is pretty badass. Unfortunately, this only resulted in a very sick swarm of bees (“My bees are dropping like flies, and I need them to fly like bees.”). He kept them at an expensive bee hospital, but got kicked out of there because his bees were a risk to all the other bees in the place. After that, he kept them in a limousine. This is, perhaps, the best phase of his beekeeping career. Not because he’s at all successful, but because he gets to identify himself as a “gentleman honey farmer” and his swarm attacked an entourage of young celebrity jerks (though G.O.B. didn’t even notice). That’s a plus.

Okay, he’s not good at realistic-style beekeeping, but that’s not what I’m about here. G.O.B., like all the best beekeepers, is more than just a beekeeper. His primary occupation is magician. Magic beekeeper? That’s a good combination. Or it would be, if his magic career wasn’t full of failures even more spectacular than his bee business. Okay, but what about fighting prowess? G.O.B. is pretty prone to getting into physical altercations (usually with his brother). But he’s not particularly good at that either. And Beekeeper Rage? Well, G.O.B. manages to circumvent that one by not being beekeeper enough to attain it. He’s got plenty of regular rage, though.

So what is the final countdown of G.O.B.’s score? It’s not good. I gave the beekeepers from the Simpsons a bonus for just being from a great show, and Arrested Development is certainly a great show, but I can’t do that for G.O.B. His failure is just too strong a part of the character. And I don’t think he ever collected a single bit of honey. It’s almost like they were trying to make him comedically bad at the job. Come on!

One Honeycomb out of Five. GOB Bluth is possibly one of the worst beekeepers in the history of beekeepers, but he’s still pretty great. Maybe when the show comes back, he’ll find some success and get the last laugh. He’ll be the laughingstock of the beekeeping world.