I’ve managed to get Swimmer’s Ear. What the chunks? Homeboy can’t even swim! And yet here I spent the last day and a half with what feels like a tablespoon full of fluid in by my anvil and hammer and other tiny bone.

Apart from the fact that it occasionally gets painful (as I tried to sleep last morning for example) the primary problem with Swimmer’s Ear is that it blocks sounds like an earplug and that has the effect of amplifying inside-head noises like crunching or swallowing or that constant swearing voice that we all try so hard to block out.

Anyway, I can officially state that I’m not a fan of Swimmer’s Ear. You’re all amazed to hear it.


Duck language is hard.
Too many words sound the same.
Ducks should learn English.

I looked up the other tiny bone. It’s the stirrup. No wonder I didn’t remember that. Back when they taught me about the earbones, I probably had no idea what a stirrup was, so it didn’t stick in my mind the way the others did. They really should have taught me about stirrups first. I now officially hate the Canadian school system.

  1. I notice ‘homeboy’ taking a lot of baths lately. Maybe that’s the chunks.

  2. Well, there’s is that. Plus the fact that wearing earplugs almost daily for the last few years has resulted in me having “impacted ear wax” or something along those lines, as I was told during my last two annual physicals. The internet lists that as a cause.

    But at no point was I SWIMMING.

  3. For the record, as of now the pressure and fluid and all that stuff is finally gone. I merely have an itch in that ear that won’t go away. Still maddening, less painful when I try to sleep.

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