Today we went and saw Hot Fuzz. You should too.
More significantly we came up with a surefire solution to the problems in Iraq. And everywhere else for that matter. We create a new military force called the Freak Corps. We forcibly recruit the world’s tallest man, any and all cyborgs, a stage magician, a boxing kangaroo, a sumo wrestler, a faith healer, that guy who doesn’t need to sleep, some of that family with the hairy faces, the world’s strongest man, a polar bear, some contortionists, psychic investigators, that guy who tattooed himself to look like a tiger man and anyone else who has cool or freakish powers. And they all wear capes.
This military strategy would solve any and all of the world’s problems.
I was told by my mother this week that I had an almost full mouth of teeth by the time I was a year old. From the context it would appear that this is impressive. I now consider it one of my first superhuman powers.
Can you, like, rent your soul to Satan? Like say I give it two him for a week (but it has to be back before midnight) and I get a weeks worth of my wish? Like I could have Superman powers for a week but I lose them at midnight when I get my soul back? Of course as a soulless man I might use Superman powers in a totally different way than I want to, but it’ll be an interesting experiment nonetheless.
Today I managed to see Grindhouse with Wade. That pretty much makes this weekend a success even if I hadn’t done things the previous day that also pleased me. I despise the fact that I must surrender to my job another of my weeks now when things were just getting good.
I have a new goal in life, but it starts with me being a multi-millionaire. From there I can build an arcade with apartments above for those I like to live in rent-free while we all work to make the world a better place. The downside is I need to be a multi-millionaire for that to work. I don’t know how to be one of those.
Anyone wanting to help me start a make-PDR-a-multimillionaire fund can take their money elsewhere though. Help the world. That just cuts out the middleman that I represent in that scenario.
At any rate, I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I really don’t.
I just got the invitation to Kip’s wedding. This invite to his upcoming nuptuals are more proof than any other thing ever that Kip is a great big queer gay fag. Though the invitation clearly doesn’t come from Kip himself because it is for Patrick plus Guest. Kip probably knows better than most people that I’m destined to live and die alone.
In other news, I joined the damn Facebook. Sigh. I’ve become a semi-conformist.
And I had other things to say, but I’m in way too many MSN conversations to think of them right now. So go away.
I just watched this movie called Zombie Nation and once again I have to question my “watch anything with zombies in it” lifestyle. It was not good. Like, worse than House of the Dead…
So there’s been a great big shooting in the States. It may be tasteless, but my first thought upon seeing the news was “Thirty-One, that guy did way better than most of them.” Of course it is a tragedy and all, but that’s what I thought.
And about the seventh or so thing I thought was “I hope that prick wasn’t wearing a trenchcoat”. I don’t need another one ruining my image.