Did everyone’s mousepad disappear over night, or was it just me? ’Cause if it was a worldwide thing, I’m willing to let it slide. And apart from that my computer is now rebelling against me by switching all my bookmarks into alphabetical order, instead of the order I had them in for years so I knew where everything was. Technology is the Great Satan.

In other news, I’ve been drafted. It turns out that President Truman invented time-travel and has been getting new troops from different eras. It turns out that he can even draft non-Americans. Well, I’m glad I already know how that war ends, so I won’t have too much to worry about.

Eventually, we’re going to have to breed rabbits for food. I have mapped out seventeen possible futures for our species and they all involve doing so. It’s clearly unavoidable. Now that we know this for certain, I propose we tear down an entire city and convert it into a giant rabbit processing plant. I propose we do this to Medicine Hat because it has the prime locale for such an endeavor.

The previous paragraph was just nonsense used to disguise the fact that I wanted to mention Medicine Hat.

Haiku!

British people speak!
The whole world listens to them.
They say, “Bollocks, mate!”

So, I’m off to work again. I’ve been trying to cram some “enjoyment of life” into my respites lately, but unfortunately that leaves me with no work done here. Let’s see if I can’t fix that tomorrow.

Once, a man was working in a factory and Satan appeared before him. “Man,” Satan said, “I will give you five bucks if you make me a sandwich.” The man considered the offer and decided to go through with it. The sandwich was alright, but not great. And that’s why Satan only accepts souls in trade these days.

And that’s what I have to say for today.

Okay, after tonight I have two days off. I’ll try to accomplish something with those that justifies my love for myself.