What do we have hear? Two English-speaking gentlemen in the Sixties who have a problem. They gotta find space in Montreal to have a World’s Fair, but oh man, they don’t have room! But what if they build it on the water? Haha, how would that work? Oh, they can build an island. And they did. Happy ending.

Okay, this time out, I’m a little stumped. I mean, I do remember this Canadian Propaganda Commercial, I must have seen it in my youth enough times to absorb the information. I recognized the situation and knew the solution, but apparently my mind had managed to forget some of the details.

I didn’t remember it being black and white for example. I see no reason for it to be in black and white. I mean, is it done to evoke the era? If so, you’re kinda pushing it. 1963 still had black and white television as the standard, I believe, but I don’t think anyone associates the Sixties with B&W the way the Fifties were. And anyway, we’ve had Heritage Moments set during the black and white television era that were in color. And we’ve had ones set before that which weren’t told as books. There is simply no need for this “artistic” choice. You lose points for this, commercial. Also, the music is pretty ridiculous, but probably does fit the era for all I know.

Our gentlemen solve their problem by remembering that there are subway tunnels being built, so let us use that dirt for something, shall we? This I approve of. It is a useful synergy of resources. Well done, chaps. Two birds with one stone and all that. While it is almost certain that the conversation never took place in real life as it does here, someone had that idea and that is the point we’re trying to get across. Success there.

I don’t think either of these men is identified. The first line may say the name of one of them, but I can’t make it out. (I think it is “Hey Guy, we’re supposed to be at city hall.” But I doubt that the one guy who absolutely less French would be called Guy with that pronunciation.) A mayor is name-dropped at the end, but in all, I’ve learned basically nothing about any historical figures here. I guess I learned that Ile Notre-Dame was man-made (and that it exists), which I didn’t know. But that’s it.

Anyway, I can see Young-Me didn’t bother accurately storing this one in his brain. Not worth the effort. Two out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.

Meanwhile, you know what we could all use more of? World’s fairs. Let’s get on that.

Now, I consider myself to be the sort of person who doesn’t make a connection with something just because it is from the same place I am. Just because a movie or television show or book or a band is made in, or by people from, Halifax, I don’t give things any extra credit for being from here. In fact, if someone is telling me about something and they bring up its local origins before convincing me of the thing’s quality on its own merit, I’m likely to hold it against the thing, telling myself that if it’s localness ranks so high in its importance, it must not have much else going for it. Unfair? Probably, but this is how I am (That is, always looking for something to complain about).

That said, I don’t think I can separate the Halifax Explosion Heritage Moment from my being born and raised in Halifax. I have no specific memory of when I first was taught about the Explosion, but there is a good chance this was the only Heritage Moment about an event I knew about before I saw it. In fact, it is one of the few that I can say with certainty I was taught anything about in school (Though, the Underground Railroad is another of those few. If I was ever taught anything about Irish immigrants to Quebec or the struggles of women trying to learn medicine, I don’t recall it. And I know for sure that the Canadian school system doesn’t teach enough about Superman.). So, as a child, it was neat to see this one.

It’s a simple story, Vince Coleman see that the ships are gonna blow, he warns everyone he sees to get as far away as possible, then he remembers a train is coming into town and he sends a Morse code message for them to maybe not come into town, on account of the explosion that’s gonna happen.

Someone sacrificing his or her own life to save others is always the sort of thing I like in a protagonist, so I’m behind Vince. I guess, in real life, some of the facts were not quite the same as depicted here, but the message he sent (“Hold up the train. Munitions ship on fire and making for Pier 6… Goodbye boys.”) does make it sound like he knew he was going out, but he still managed to keep his cool and get the message to the trains. So he’s a good guy, even if the commercial did kinda feel the need to fluff him up.

Still, historical accuracy has never been one of my criteria for these reviews. As an entity unto itself, the commercial tells its story quite well in the minute. We get the set up, the struggle to get the message out, the success, and the tragic end all at breakneck speed. As for quotability, I could see “C’mon Vince, C’mon” being the sort of thing I’d say if I knew a Vince (which would likely annoy Vince). But “C’mon, c’mon, acknowledge.” is the real star. If I’d been asked before re-watching, I would have been sure that line played a much bigger role. Anyway, we should all use it on computers when they’re taking too long to load and stuff.

So anyway, it’s entirely possible that there was a time in my youth when I would have called this my favorite Heritage Moment (with the possible exception of the Superman one), but that was just my regionalism. But still, I do like this one even looking at my new, bitter-about-everything eyes.

I would say that it is very likely I would have no idea what an inukshuk was if it wasn’t for this commercial. Maybe they told us in school one time, but I sure don’t remember it. This commercial on the other hand can not be forgotten. I’m pretty sure this commercial was designed by Canadologists to maximize its ability to bore into the minds of the public. And for this, I love this Heritage Moment.

What we’ve got here is a wounded RCMP officer and some Inuit people, right. They’re taking a break or something and the Inuit, as they are wont to do, start building an inukshuk. RCMP Johnny says to himself “I’ve always wondered what those things were about” and he goes to check it out. The woman doesn’t even need to be asked, though. She knows that people all the time be thinking about inukshuks, so as soon as he gets there she has another guy (her son maybe) translate the purpose of the thing: “Now the People will know we were here.”

And is our only great quotable line from this one. But it’s a great one. They even have to bring it back mere seconds later to close out the piece. It probably wasn’t written that way. I’m pretty sure it just had to happen that way because the line was so quotable. So while it only gives us one line, it’s so well done, I give big points for it. Of the Heritage Moments I’ve reviewed so far, only the Superman can honestly trump this one, because it has both quality and quantity.

But meanwhile, we’ve got the hidden non-educational bit of the story. What is the deal here? How did this RCMPoliceman get hurt? Just a simple slip and fall on an icy rock? Was he attacked by Americans trying to get to the Yukon? Did he sprain his ankle giving a roundhouse kick to the a wendigo? We don’t know. It raises questions and I, for one, would enjoy seeing the tale of these people (a family, probably) helping this guy get wherever they’re going. A television show really ought to have sprung from this.

For doing its job super well and giving us tantalizing hints at a story at the same time, this one gets Five out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.

When I was in New York last year, I saw an inukshuk on display at the United Nations building. I’m no nationalist, but that moment made me feel connected to Canada even more than finding a Tim Hortons in a pizza hut did.

Okay, I don’t have to be in work as early as usual today, so I’ve got some time, let’s see what I can post about.

Earlier this month, Loius C. K. put out his most recent comedy special exclusively online skipping the whole television network thing. Even though I can’t even so much afford things really these days he’s only asking five bucks (American, I assume, but didn’t notice), so I figured it was probably possible for me to spend five bucks without it killing me (the jury is still out though). Anyway, I got the special and now I’m talking about it on my website. He remains to entertain me. Any comedy show that begins with pointing out that the audience is a large enough sampling of people that someone there is bound to be dead by the holidays is up my alley. I’m giving it Four out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It’s not the best of his specials that I have seen, but it is still great. And it is cheap. Keep that in mind anyone wanting some entertainment.

Haiku!

The owl was not there.
But then, who was saying “Hoo”?
And where was the owl?

Apart from that, not much else is going on. As I say, I am soon going to work. I spent much of today trying to work on things I’d like to get done before the New Year rolls around (so it looks like I got more done this year). Mostly I’m trying to finish the Hover Head story I mentioned I’d be starting around this time last year. I did indeed start it in the early bits of 2011, but then my focus shifted more to the SecGov Robots and I let this one drag out. Either way, it shall be done by Monday I am certain, and then I won’t have to worry about it any more. And all of you may continue not caring.

Anyway, not I have to get ready to go to work.

I had a dream I was back in New York last week. It was pretty sweet. So anyway, here’s some more memories of my trip there in November:

Around Central Park, some guy came up to me and told me he was selling a CD he’d made. I figured, hey, I could give that to Marq, I could. He’s the type of guy what would be interested in music stuff some random guy came up with (Kiiip meanwhile got a keychain with a sexy fireman). Anyway, here is what the album cover looked like:

So anyway, I paid five or seven bucks (I don’t remember which) and that was that. Eventually I came home and since I didn’t see Marq for like a month after my return, the CD just sat on my filing cabinet innocently. Then, when I finally do see him and give it to him, he tries it and finds out that it is way blank. It’s a blank CD. Guy is totally just scamming folk into buying a blank CD.

It’s a brilliant scheme, really. Buy a stack of CDs, throw some album cover on there and tell people you made some music. But what really makes it work is the bizarre and even confusing level of detail. The fact that he threw a twitter address on there? That’s awesome. The adorable little kid holding something (a cucumber?) and apparently having been awarded second place in some event (cucumber championship?) is also pleasing because of how nonsensical it was. And the fact it is labelled “Part 2” (or is that Part 0.2?). It is so much detail for a completely pointless cover. You could get as much of an effect with an album cover consisting of white text on a black background, probably, but this guy went above and beyond.

I can even forgive “alot” being one word and “N” being used for “and”. The whole money-grubbing theme of the title, which I had considered unfortunate at first, makes perfect sense as part of the scam. Basically, I’m saying, this being a scam is probably a far better present for Marq than an actual CD would have been.

The only drawback I can see is that maybe he will make people less trusting of actual people trying to sell actual music they’ve actually made. But y’know what? Screw those guys. They should stop trying to live their dream and get jobs that will help society. Like selling neckties or something.

Anyway, while I’m on the topic of my trip, I remembered something else that occurred while I was in New York. It goes a little something like a this:

I was at FAO Schwartz (the toy store where Big danced on a big keyboard) and I saw massive Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups for sale. Like, huge. When I picked it up, it was heavier than a hardcover phone book. It was two cups, each the size of one of those frozen chicken pies they have at the grocery store. So, I saw these and I was like “I’m buying that thing and I’m going to eat it with my mouth!” so I took it and when I got to the register I was told it would cost like TWENTY-FIVE Dollars!!! (!) Now, I ask you. What is the real scam here, that guy selling the fake album, or candy so prohibitively expensive that it makes any hatred that poor countries feel toward us entirely justified?

Anyway, I still bought it of course. The day that I got it, one of them was the only thing I ate, it filled me so much. It was deliciously disgusting. If you ever want to cure someone of a Reese addiction, force them to eat one of those. By the end of that first cup, I never wanted to eat another item of food in my life. With the second cup I took my time and it lasted a couple more days and didn’t make me hate myself as much. So twenty-five bucks is one expensive candy, but it did last three days. Weigh the options and see which is more important to you. I think I can only give Giant Reese’s Cups Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake, because that’s about a perfect representation of their balance between horrible and wonderful.