It has been at least two years since the cops have stopped me for anything and even then it was just for not wearing my helmet while on my skateboard. But tonight, they stopped me when I wasn’t even committing that crime.

Since the guy I usually share a cab with is away for a month, I decided I’d walk down long dark Kearney Lake Road to cut some money off of my cab fare. It was all good (though I must admit I spent a lot of time thinking I really should have brought my board), except at one point I scared some deer. But the fun stuff happened just as soon as I hit civilization. I was heading for the gas station that’s open all night and has a bank machine when I noticed a cop car drive by me and very clearly look at me. I was amused and continued towards the gas station. I could sense the cop car circling around to take another pass by me. It may be worth noting that this is like four a.m. and I’m all sweaty from the walk and wearing black jeans, black shoes, my black trenchcoat and a black t-shirt. Pretty much the only thing not black is the Rebel Alliance insignia on my shirt. I’m awesome.

The cop car pulls into the gas station and in front of me and the officer (a hot lady officer, just for the record) and asks how I’m doing and so, you’re just out wandering, huh? Or something to that affect. I clarified that I had just walked down from Bluewater Road (about an hour walk) from work and the officer was all “okay” and I went in to use the ATM and buy juice and chocolate. When I got out, there were now TWO cop cars. I began to continue my walk, but the first officer now had a notepad and told me they would have to ask some questions. In the second car another officer (complete with stereotyped cop mustache and a partner in the other seat who said nothing and I don’t think was even paying attention) would ask me other questions while the first one was writing stuff down. In the end I gave out my name, age, address, phone number, job and exactly how my walk-so-far-to-save-on-cab-fare plan worked. All in all, it was cool. I walked away with a stupid grin (I’m sure I’m supposed to be indignant or something, but I so wasn’t). Rest assured everyone, when an evil and suspicious-looking man is walking the streets after dark, they are being watched. Even if they’re goody-two-shoes.

Now the best possible outcome I can think of for all this is that some sort of crime happened in the area and tomorrow I will be taken in as a suspect. Or better yet a “Person of Interest”. That would be way better than going to work. But even if that doesn’t happen, at least I had something to write about for a change.

Oh! The best part was when they asked my birth date because it is very close to today, so I totally felt like I was lying even though I wasn’t. Also, how many other people when asked their name by someone who is going to write it down first state then immediately spell their last name I’m all like “Patrick D Ryall R-Y-A-L-L” every time in that situation.

Anyway, that’s it.

I just watched this movie called Zombie Nation and once again I have to question my “watch anything with zombies in it” lifestyle. It was not good. Like, worse than House of the Dead…

So there’s been a great big shooting in the States. It may be tasteless, but my first thought upon seeing the news was “Thirty-One, that guy did way better than most of them.” Of course it is a tragedy and all, but that’s what I thought.

And about the seventh or so thing I thought was “I hope that prick wasn’t wearing a trenchcoat”. I don’t need another one ruining my image.

I am now, officially, on my new computer. It is cool. It took some time to transfer all necessary files from my old computer to this one, but I am now done with all that and I can prepare to start enjoying this computer. Hooray.

Haiku!

Bake a birthday cake!
It’s someone’s birthday somewhere.
That’s reason enough.

In other news, there was a great big school shooting over in Montreal. Now, apart from whatever tragedy is inherent in such an event, the shooter was wearing a black trenchcoat. Why do they always do that? They’re giving trenchcoats a bad name that I don’t appreciate. If any of you intend to go on a gun rampage, wear a friggin’ yellow raincoat or something, dammit.

And it’s close to time for me to start getting ready for work. I hate that. I’m so going to look into playing the lottery.

Lately I’ve been getting my rides to and from work in a coworker’s car which is a Chevy nearly as old as myself. The gas gauge is stuck at halfway. Thanks to that quirk, we ended up on the side of the highway at 4:30 in the morning today, with the tank depleted. So as the owner ran off to the nearest gas station another coworker and I got to stand by the car, in which we could not find working four-way lights, and try to encourage the many fast-moving large trucks not to hit it until the sun rose enough that we could be seen. We decided that since I (as always) was wearing a big black trenchcoat, and he is foreign, that some passing car was sure to call the cops on us. Sadly, that didn’t happen, but eventually the gas arrived and we were on our way off again.

Now I might have thought that anything that kept me from getting home after work would be a bad thing, but I enjoyed that. It felt like old times, when I did stuff and stuff happened. I really wish I still had a life.

Anyway, I’m going to sleep. To any stupid young idiot kids who may accidentally turn up on this site because they were surfing the Internet for the phrase “Bird Flu is Awesome” (which I just used) my advice is this: Don’t get jobs, get lives.