Motorcycle Dream

In the dream I had in my most recent sleep I was pulled over by the police after riding a motorcycle on the beach at night after it had snowed. I have never in my life ridden a motorcycle, but it seemed easy enough in my dream. I was able to ramp off beach-snow with ease. And also the bike didn’t make as much noise as they do in real life. I’d love a dream-motorcycle.

The dream cops let me go as soon as they realized I wasn’t drunk. In fact, one of them recognized me as a teetotaler, which was nice. I’ve always hoped that eventually the cops in the real world would get to recognize me in my night-wanderings and instead of being suspicious, they’d just say “Oh, there’s PDR. That guy is alright.” That would be nice. Anyway, it occurred to me after waking up that I didn’t even get in trouble for not wearing a helmet.

All in all, it was an okay dream.

Why Are People Whizzin’ On My Fountain?

Those who know Halifax will know the Commons, a pleasant park-area-deal just minutes from my apartment. It’s a nice place. In the Commons there’s this fountain that, for no actually justifiable reason, I have been referring to as “my fountain” for years. Sometimes I like to relax by sitting near it.

Anyway, three times this year I have seen teen-agers urinating in the bushes around my fountain. Unmitigated savagery. Now I don’t like to mock people who go to the washroom a lot or anything. I know that not everyone has the superhuman bladder that I have and I just don’t know what it is like to need to pee that badly. I can’t relate. But here is the thing: There is a washroom in the Commons! They just built a whole building to hold toilets and such right there in the park it a couple years ago! It’s PLAINLY VISIBLE from the area where the fountain is. If these teen-agers are unable to walk a distance that takes less than a minute because their bladders are so useless, maybe they shouldn’t leave the house. Or at least invest in some device that allows for one to avoid the need for public urination. On MY fountain!

What is the world coming to?

In other news, when I woke up this morning I remembered the dream I’d had so I wrote about it to Marq. Now I’ll copy and paste that here to fill up the rest of this post: I had a dream where I wasn’t me, I was some woman who worked in a hospital. Then a non-specific apocalypse happened and I, and at least three other hospital workers all became undead (we called ourselves zombies, but we had no zombie-mindlessness or cravings) and we kept the hospital open for survivors who needed help (there were many). At some point a woman who looked a lot like me came in to the hospital and it turned out it was on of my ancestors who happened to be a vampire. We got caught up and she didn’t drink my blood because I was dead. Then she had to leave town for whatever reason.

And let me add something I forgot to mention in that account: There was a point where I was totally jamming my wrist in the face of my vampire ancestor to see if she could smell the blood. She couldn’t.

Are Wishing Chairs Real?

I just had a dream where there was a Wishing Chair and whoever sat in it could basically wish for anything they wanted and it would come true. It was basically a chair of omnipotence and it was open to the public. Anyone could use it. Naturally, this caused problems. The world was in flux. Time was constantly being rewritten so that people could correct mistakes from their past. The weather changed to match the mood of whoever was in the chair. It was chaotic. Anyway, eventually I got my turn in the chair and, naturally, I wished for Superman Powers. Things did not go well.

Now I don’t know if even my dreams are against me having Superman Powers or, as I kinda assumed at the time, someone had sabotaged it, but anyway, I didn’t get my wish. Instead, for some reason, I became a balding Asian child. I have nothing against balding Asian children, but I don’t consider them Superman. What’s the deal Chair?

(I do have to admit that I am happy to say that even in a dream state I use the term “Superman Powers” without hesitation)

So anyway, if anyone knows where there’s a real Wishing Chair around, give me a heads up.

What’s more, in the course of dreaming I also found a novel just lying on the ground (the details of which now escape me) that looked really cool. I looked forward to reading it and now that I am awake, I never can. Awake and asleep. Both states of extreme disappointment. Go figure.

Ready to Fight!

Okay, I have no idea if this is something that has every happened to other people or not, but it is certainly a first for me. I just woke up with start and my were fists clenched and ready to swing at some imaginary foes. It was like I was a badass in a movie who sleeps with one eye open so nobody can sneak up on him. Yep, pretty badass.

Of course, since nobody was there I also felt like an idiot.

Anyway, since it seems like my theme this month is sleep/dreaming, I am lucky to be able to remember the bit of the dream just before this sudden arousal. I was on a highway running through the desert where some avant garde artist had made a sculpture. It was a sculpture of a small house which was designed in such a way as to obscure what was through the front door until you were standing in front of it. Once you were standing in front of it, you saw that a cannon was pointing directly at you, oh my!

Except this wasn’t enough. The artist explained (my dream cutting occasionally to snippets of an interview with him) that nobody was as frightened by cannon as he had hoped. Perhaps cannons are just not as relevant as a weapon these days, so everyone assumed it was harmless. Not the response the artist had intended. So what he did is he added to the piece. He created a handful of statues, also only visible from that spot in front of the house, depicting seedy looking folks pointing guns are the viewer. So it was there that I was standing when some noise from the real world must have woken me up enough that my fight response translated into a physical move.

It’s an interesting start to a day anyway…

Napping is hard.

Yesterday evening I was feeling groggy after a large family meal and I thought, as I do several times a year “I’ll just have a nap” and I let myself drift off to sleep. Now I’m waking up just a few hours before I should actually be going to sleep. Napping is not a skill that PDR possesses.

When I go to sleep, my body apparently thinks “Well, let us make this stick as long as possible” no matter what I think. I seem to be getting more and more able to turn off my alarm without waking and, unless my phone is lying to me, I seem to have checked a text message in my sleep yesterday. I value awake-times much more than sleep-times and this is not ideal. I guess it is my own fault for making naps such a rare part of my habits. I never slept on buses or in school or any of the places I could have trained my nap-senses (the only time I’ve even slept on an airplane was on a fourteen hour flight and was a proper sleep, not a nap). I suppose this is my own fault for not fostering proper napabilities when I could. And now, something must be done. I guess, from this point on, I just need to tell myself: No more naps. If I feel like I could use a nap, I am to tell myself “Shut up, dummy!” and stick to awakeness.

Well, I’ve really got no point to this complainy post save that I felt like I should write something to account for my confusion of my sleeping schedule (Also I’m not quite awake yet). Gotta get something out of it. Still, as I said quite recently, I’m big on dreams. My dream last night had dinosaurs. That counts as a point in my favor, but now I have to try to readjust in time for work tonight… We shall see.