So, I managed to, at the last second before I had to go to work, get that Robot story up for International Robot Day. Good for me. For those who don’t know (which is a group that exceeds the population of the Earth) the robot Robexor first appeared in a story I did years ago. Things did not go as well for him that time.

For the record, I Googled “International Robot Day” and it seems there already is one on February 5th! So now we get two! Robots are so lucky.

And if they choose not to recognize my International Robot Day, you better believe I will retaliate. PDR style.

According to something I wrote on Conains2 several years ago March 25 is International Robot Day. Since nobody has contradicted me since then, I take that as proof that it is true. Sort of like how since nobody official has contradicted that Patrick D Ryall is a nation, I know that that is true.

So that means that Patrick D Ryall will be celebrating International Robot Day in just a few weeks! Who else is excited? I bet you all are.

Haiku!

Behold the Trumpet!
It can bring forth sounds of joy!
But it won’t. It won’t.

I will try to write a story for International Robot Day, I think. We could all use more stories for International Robot Day…

So, I got an envelope in the mail the other day. Not that rare an occurrence. But this one was from the UNITED NATIONS. As far as I am concerned this is a step in the right direction. They’re finally beginning to acknowledge that I am a sovereign nation.

Naturally the letter has nothing to do with recognizing my sovereignty. And technically it is from the “United Nations Association of Canada”. But that’s close enough, right?

Anyway, it is a Citizens’ Panel Survey. Apparently the UN is interested on how we mere citizens think they are doing. Fair enough. And also they wouldn’t mind a monetary donation or two. I suppose that makes sense. They probably heard I was the kind of sap who will give money to lost causes. Okay. But when you get down to the bottom of the sheet where you fill out your name and information the square for “Yes! I would like to donate money” is already checked off. The survey is printed with that checkmark already in place. Why design the thing to look like it is an option in the first place? Annoying. The United Nations only wants me to give them my opinion if I am also giving them money. Well not this time United Nations!

Not this time!

Today there is an election in a foreign land. The nation of Patrick D Ryall has to work late tonight because of that fact (though it’ll likely be a night without much actual real work, just more waiting) but the foreign nation can make it up to me by electing correctly. Populace of America: Vote foe PDR. It’s the only sensible choice.

You know, I think, were I American, I’d actually vote this year. That’s something I never did as a Canadian. So far declaring my independence has worked out just fine.

And speaking of being American, the Nation of PDR spells a lot of words the American way, but there are some which me and my spellcheck totally do not agree on. “Traveller” for instance. “Harbour” is another, though generally I favor the “u” dropping in words. A vote for PDR is probably also a vote for him changing the official spelling of random words to the way he likes them with no heed for whatever anyone else says.

Yesterday was Canada Day, and Pat is still in China, so to celebrate these three nations we’ve decided to combine them all. Somehow. I’ve yet to determine how this is going to be a good idea, but whatever. In fact, I really have no idea how to include Patrick into this as a nation, other than this being his co-opted website, but hey, keep watching.

• The Canadian Open (golf tournament) + Chinese Checkers = one messed up game. Think about it.
• Chinese fire drill** + Canadian goose = watching a bunch of geese in a flying V going south for the winter: stopping in mid-air, loop-de-loop and circle around each other for ten seconds, then getting back into formation and flying off as if nothing happened.
• The Canadarm + “China has a space program?!” = the Chinarm, wherein we can now have gigantic robot arm wrestling in space. The future is sweet.
• China Syndrome + Canadian whisky = alcohol so potent, it burns itself into the ground. They probably have that already. I wonder what they call it.

Wow. That was harder than it looks, and I’m fresh outta ideas. Not to mention, I couldn’t figure out a way of including Pat in there. Sorry, country-dude, but you need to beef up your exports, or something.

** For the record, Wikipedia says “thus the expression ‘Chinese Fire Drill’ is the act of a group of individuals accomplishing nothing.” I beg to differ. Whoever happens to witness such an event would (hopefully) be amused, or confused, or both. That’s gotta be worth something.

Celebrating the world,
–me.