Castle Crashers is a beat-em-up game in which Killer Beekeepers appear both as enemies and as a player character. The enemies appear in only a single level of the game and the player character has to be unlocked, both little touches that make the Killer Beekeepers feels rightfully special. But is that specialness justified?

Well, the enemy Killer Beekeepers are, as I say, rare. They will only attack when the player’s rampage brings them through the fields where the Killer Beekeepers’ bees live and work, and even then the only after the player has taken out a number of bees. In spite of the word “Killer” appearing as an adjective in their name, these Beekeepers just don’t show a sign of Beekeeper Rage. They legitimately just want to protect their bees. That’s admirable.

The unlockable player character Killer Beekeeper is a better study for the skills these Beekeepers can have as they level up. Upon starting the game the Killer Beekeeper is armed with a weapon called the Rat-Beating Bat, implying that they honed their skills protecting their hives from rats. As they level up their magical abilities, they gain the power to summon bees and use them as projectiles to fire at opponents (these bees are perfectly willing to die for the cause). And, indeed, with fully-levelled magic they can summon bees so quickly that enemies find it hard to resist being hurt. And while it isn’t directly related to beekeeping (though it is accompanied by smoke effects), they also have a magical jumping ability and can attack bosses while in the air, something apparently few other characters in the game can do.

It feels natural to compare the Killer Beekeepers with the Beekeeper from Fist Puncher. She was another who existed in the world of a beat-em-up game and could wander around fighting everyone who needs to be fought. A similar comparison would be the Beekeeper from Citizens of Earth, though she has numerous powers beyond just combat, such as healing skills, which give her the edge ratings-wise. The Killer Beekeepers show no talent as healers and have no talking bees or anything like that. They’re impressive fighters, but they have so much more to learn.

Four Honeycombs out of Five.

Hachibee is the Apiarist in Distress found in a Ghost of Tsushima expansion. This means he lives back in Samurai Times of Japan (I don’t feel it necessary to bother with a more detailed description of the era at this time.)

At this point I’ve covered enough of these that I could have told you how it goes before even looking: The hives/the Beekeeper are in danger, the game’s protagonist has to save them. It’s done by the numbers and doesn’t deviate.

I can’t rate Hachibee more than a Two for this. That’s the standard for this role. But Hachibee actually gets a little bit more detail than most of his fellows, which makes me wish I could go higher.

For example:

• His honey is used for healing.
• He writes poems for his bees.
• He suggests his bees may be useful to the protagonist in a fight.
• He has a good beekeeper name.
• He refuses to abandon his hives even when the enemies arrive.

It’s all good stuff, but just not enough to escape the surprisingly cliche role of videogame Apiarist in Distress.

Two Honeycombs out of Five.

Those who haven’t watched Rushmore in some time may not immediately think of Max Fischer as a Beekeeper, but he was, and it wasn’t a minor thing. Max was the president of the Rushmore Beekeepers club, and Rushmore is a school with a bee on its logo. One thing people definitely will remember is that Max Fischer is a bit of a jerk. That’s the point of the movie, so it gets more focus than the Beekeeper stuff. But they’re both there, and they’re not unrelated.

First, I suppose, I should speak on Max’s good qualities. He’s an enthusiastic young man with a take-charge attitude and natural tendencies toward leadership. He has a wide variety of interests, of which Beekeeping is only one. He’s a talented playwright and is also in clubs for debate and fencing and wrestling and more, many of these clubs he has founded himself. If that seems to lessen the import of his Beekeeping club, I don’t think it’s an issue. One of the pluses of Beekeeping is that it is something worthwhile that someone can do that doesn’t take all their focus, allowing for multi-tasking and multi-disciplinary learning. I know that the movie points out that Max’s interest in these clubs overshadows his performance in school, so you might say, “how can he be learning multi-disciplinarily if he isn’t even passing his classes,” but PDR doesn’t hold our school systems in any sacred regard, so if Max learns better in his clubs, I’m all for it. It’s also worth remembering that I consider skills in combat and adventure a plus for Beekeepers, and while Max may not be especially good in a fight, he has clubs where he learns skills that an adventurer would need. When he is seen in a conflict, we have to note that the bees are one of the first weapons he picks.

But Max is, by no means, perfect. He begins his tale as a self-absorbed little prick. He’s a liar and a manipulator. He routinely hurts others as he strides toward his own goals. Max is definitely a sufferer of Beekeeper Rage.

It occurred to me while making this review that the real problem with Beekeeper Rage is how often it is motivated by selfishness. By definition, Beekeepers are people who solve problems by building and protecting a community. That community is largely made up of bees, but not solely, nd when a Beekeeper gets too caught up in their own self-importance, it causes problems and hurts the community, bees and others. Note that when Max tries to turn his life around, he does so by mending the breaks he made in his community. That’s what Beekeepers are for.

3 Honeycombs out of Five. Max makes mistakes, but he’s also young, learns some lessons, and has a lot of potential for growth.

“[B]rother, I didn’t know that you’d STOLEN ONE OF MY BEES TO STING YOUR HORSE, UNTIL I COUNTED THEM”

In the interests of being thorough, I must review Beekeepers wherever I find them, which is why I’ve ended up with a list of over 200 Beekeepers Reviews I’ve got ahead of me. That’s a lot of research I must do, so when I find a relatively easy job, like Basil, the Beekeeper who appears in a parodic hypothetical period drama story, you know I’ll act quickly.

Basil has made millions selling his honey, so it must be good stuff, and he cares enough for his bees that he can count them and tell that one is missing. He is also the type who will give shelter to a distress runaway and the type who will investigate a mystery, both signs of the sort of nobility I ask in a Beekeeper. It’s also possible he fought in some manner of Bee Wars. All very impressive.

Basil’s scheming brother, the wealthy Lord Cucumberly, causes all the drama of the plot, but Basil reveals his brother’s lies and wins the trust of the heroine. It’s a happy ending for Basil, and for the heroine, who gets to spend her life with such a catch.

Four Honeycombs out of Five.

Heads up! Got another Scooby Doo-related Beekeeper coming at you!

Last year, when I covered the Bee-Man of Alcatraz, I found a Scooby Doo villain who was a Beekeeper and whose actual crimes were not depicted in the story, but instead we came in while the Gang was wrapping up their case. This time we have a Scooby Doo villain who was a beekeeper and we come in while the Gang is wrapping up their case, but this time the crime is more complex, so we actually get to see part of it.

The crime that we didn’t get to see this time was the theft of a lot of goods from a hotel. Gold chains, paintings, watches. Someone just came and stole a whole bunch of assorted valuable things from a hotel. We don’t know for sure that the criminal was wearing a monster costume, but this is the Scooby Doo universe, so it seems more than likely. And there is indeed a monster-masked beekeeper seen on the cover of the issue, so even if it doesn’t come up inside, I think we have to assume the culprit scared off witnesses by posing as a “Beastly Beekeeper” or “Eerie Apiarist” or something along those lines.

Naturally, when faced with a Beekeeper-themed foe, the Gang would check out the nearby Wilkins Honey farm, owned by one Mr. Wilkins. As the story begins, they find and unmask Mr. Wilkins as he retrieves some of the stolen goods from his hives.

But Mr. Wilkins didn’t do it!

He was framed by one of his honey farm employees! Brittany. She is the one who stole the stuff and hid it in the hives. And what’s more, when the Gang make their first incorrect unmasking, Brittany hatches a clever plan: she has Velma stung by a bee, then uses her “expertise” as a beekeeper to recommend that she be kept in the hospital overnight. This keeps Velma and the Gang distracted and not thinking too closely about their case, while Brittany attempts to gather what remains of her stolen treasures. It doesn’t work in the long run, but it’s a decent plan. How many Scooby Doo villains have actually hospitalized a member of the Gang, after all?

If, as I assume, Brittany was wearing the Beastly Beekeeper mask while she performed her crimes, you could consider it stupid or foolish to then hide the stolen goods at the nearby apiary. But, since she’s trying to frame her boss, it makes sense. As far as Beekeeper-related criminal plans go, it’s not the worst.

Really, I could review these two separately, given they are at odds, but for simplicity I’ve combined them into one. Wilkins, we know, is a successful apiarist who has a whole farm named after himself, so either he’s that good or he comes from a line of Beekeepers. Either way, that’s an impressive start. What gives him the final push from average to just above average is that he gets to hang out with the Gang and deliver the story’s variant on the “Meddling Kids” line.

Brittany is has (again, I am assuming) a Beekeeper-themed costumed identity, uses her Beekeeping as part of her repertoire of tricks, and she’s successful enough that she, as I say, hospitalized a member of the Scooby Gang after making them all identify a criminal incorrectly. The thing that brings her down from awesome to just above average is that she’s a criminal, and I never condone the bad guys in these reviews.

That means both of these Beekeepers get:

3 Honeycombs out of Five each. Just above average.