So it’s back to school tomorrow. I feel like this is going to be a very busy couple of months. I guess that if dumbass stupid moron kids can do it every year, someone awesome and coolsmart like me should do alright, though. Right? This is jest, of course, but I did kinda get through my first semester with a feeling that I can half-ass it and still do alright. Here’s hoping this second semester doesn’t shatter that illusion. Anyway, hopefully I won’t be too distracted from the site during that time.

Haiku!

Spaceships are not real.
It’s all a Communist lie.
There ain’t no spaceships.

Also, we’ve got our first real stickaround snowfall in the city for this Winter. So now I’ll be trudgin’ through that on my way to school. Just great. Just great.

Also, I need to mention this: My Internet is getting so slow. I have no idea why, but for months it’s been getting slower and slower and now it’s just painful. I don’t know who I’m supposed to punch to fix it, so if anyone knows, just fill me in.

Well, for the first time in the history of this website, I am not employed at the newspaper job. Last night was my last night. Today I am throwing out a bunch of work clothes. I will not miss that job, but I hope that the place is not too unkind to the people I have left behind in the time that they remain employed there (Though I don’t predict a lot of years remaining in that place).

So the question is, “now what?” I’ve got to find a way to pay rent, of course, so I’m pretty much required to start finding some sort of part time thing. I guess that as soon as these holiday things are over, I’m handing out resumes. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that. Anyway, I’m off school until the Seventh of January, so I’ve still got a few weeks where I will have the time to look, though ideally I’ll be able to find something quickly so I will have some time left over before classes that I can get a few things done for the site.

Haiku!

You have to pay rent
or you don’t deserve to live
you witless bastard.

If any rich people and/or wizards are listening, I will again put forth my assurance that I am willing to take up to half your riches. It’s easy to unburden yourself with PDR’s help! Remember that.

I feel like I’ve neglected something important. I should have mentioned: I’m done school for the year, except for two exams. This leaves me with a lot of free time in December. Well, to call it “Free time” doesn’t make a lot of sense considering how much money I am paying to have it. I hope I can make the most of this time.

Haiku!

One thousand racists!
They all got on a spaceship
and went to White World.

Also worth noting: My last day at work will be the Twenty-Second of December. That will also be creating some free time, though this one is going to come a significant loss of income. Oh well!

I want to open a journalism school. There’d be teachers and whatever to teach the stuff that needs to be taught, but I would be in charge of the final exam. I’d make up a new story about a whale and then the students would have to do an article about it. Any student who uses the phrase “Whale of a tale” would be failed and punched.

Haiku!

I need a new leg.
My old leg was eaten up.
It was delicious.

If evolution is real, why can’t sharks walk? They get tons of experience points from killing people all the time, obviously one of the sharks would have got legs when it levels up by now. Therefore, I have disproved evolution.

Did you know that the word “Pie” comes from the Victorian-era phrase “Pan of Interesting Edibles”? Now you know. Feel free to cite this page as proof when you add this fact to Wikipedia.

So how is everybody doing? Well, I hope. Me? I’m alright. The cold I had last week is gone save for some sniffling. My freaking internet is being slow tonight as I try to watch my stories, but whatever. You can’t break an omelet without making some new eggs, am I right?

Haiku!

Panda Detective.
Solving crimes is his main joy,
His one obsession.

And now a list of some foods which produce smells that I enjoy, but I don’t care for the food especially:

1. Popcorn.
2. Sausages.

That is all I can think of for now.

Anyway, for posterity I must mention that today was the final checkup of my mangled finger. It was a matter of the doctor looking at it for whole seconds to confirm that, yeah, it looks fine. Not much of a news item, but if I don’t document the minutia of my life on this site, who will? Bronson Pinchot? No, I don’t think he will. It’s up to me.