On the 18th back there I turned 38. I’d be lying if I didn’t say 37 was my least favourite year of my thirties so far. But now it is over and I’m on a trajectory toward less sucky future. So let’s roll with that. On top of everything, Secret Government Robots is done, so I can be more productive on other things and not feel bad about neglecting that. So let’s get productive!

Haiku!

Thirty-Eight Years Old.
Now is the PDR year.
Let’s be PDR.

One thing I am working have just done and may do again later in the year is stories in the “creepypasta” style, but using elements from my works. For example, I just put up a story called “The Ants Are Acting Strange” which hints at an evil ant conspiracy of some kind, but which will seem a lot less weird to someone who is familiar with the Ant Cult that appeared occasionally in Secret Government Robots. I will put such stories (CreePDRstas?) here on the site, for completeness sake, but I also intend to put them out in the wild internets to confuse those who happen to encounter them. This first story I put up on Reddit.

I will try to post updates about life more often this year, so it isn’t just Phone Guys going up each week and nothing else, but I will also try to have comic strips or stories going up as well. I’ve got a good feeling about 38. (And having said that, I assume I will be hit by a bus before anybody reads this post.)

I should, I suppose, make it known that I have a new cellular telephone. It’s one of those newfangled technologyphones with a screen that I will inevitably break and feel terrible about. Still, my previous phone, a proper phone that flipped open Captain Kirk-style, decided it was no longer willing to work well. It had to be done. I’m reluctant to move into the age of superphones, but I guess it was time.

One upside, though, I spent a long time putting my Contacts into the new phone, but I guess they’re on the SIM card thing now, so I’ll never have to do that again. One downside, I’m already sick of fingerprints on my screen.

Anyway, I’m sure I’ll have some things go wrong as I try to adjust to new technology, so I’ll be back to describe that, I am sure.

Sometimes I remember that posting my opinion of movies is a perfectly valid use for a website.

So Marq and I saw the new Star Trek movie the other day. I’m going to preface this by saying that I enjoyed it. I have to clarify that because it is basically all complaining from this point on:

I’m going to try to avoid spoiling the movie, but I must say that my biggest complaint is one that I and many others predicted. I went in accepting that this was the case, so I was actually thinking for some time that I liked the way they were going about it. They’d taken what I didn’t want to see and were showing it in such a way that I thought “Hey, they’re doing it differently than I expected, so that’s good” but then it all came crashing down.

I thought the point of the whole movie time-travel reboot relaunch thing was to do things in a new way for a new generation of viewers. The cast of the new movies is definitely good enough that I want to see them doing their thing. Their own thing, specifically. Large plot points in this movie are only significant in their relation to old Star Trek stuff and I think that that is a shame. At least, I suppose, now that they’ve shot their wad for this particular plot they will get to do something new next time around (Note: I will pay Hollywood as much as Ten Canadian Dollars to make a movie based off the Frog of Fortosia).

Secondly, I know I’m just a cranky old man, but can we have movies rely just a little less on setpieces? It really takes me out of movies when I have thoughts like “Did this fight scene really need to happen on a flying car?” I fully accept that plenty of people will just say that I don’t like fun, and those people are probably correct, but I stand by it. If a fight scene is meant to have emotional importance in the narrative, you shouldn’t have to try so damn hard to dress it up and make it interesting.

Finally, I honestly hope that this is the last movie I will ever see in which someone is hanging over a ledge, clinging on for their life and at the exact second they lose their grip someone appears to grab their hand. Honestly.

There’s at least two other things I consider worthy of discussion, but they’re both give away even more of the plot, so maybe I’ll get back to those some other day.

Here’s something I’ve been meaning to talk about for a couple months, but keep forgetting: I found a grey hair on my chin. And not just some loose grey hair that happened to land there, either. It’s totally one I’m growing myself. I’m gonna be a big boy soon!

I tried to take a picture, but my camera doesn’t seem to be good enough to get such a fine image. You’ll all just have to trust me when I say that on the left side of my chin there’s a single white strand.

It’s a good thing for me that I already did my obsession with mortality when I was nine, because now I can experience growing slowly more distinguished without the knowledge of my fleeting youth weighing heavily on me. I pity the many who have been convinced by modern society to fight a battle that is literally impossible to win just because putting such a value on youth is helpful in keeping people unhappy, and thus swaying them to purchase what you’re selling. Or something like that.

After all, why would PDR have any desire to more resemble a generation he has no desire to be a part of? Right?