Those of you who follow my life religiously and commit every detail to memory will recall the time I got hassled by the fuzz for just walking at night a couple years back. It just happened again. Once again I use this site as a place to log my time on the wrong side of the law.

There were some differences beyond it being two years later, of course. Take a moment to familiarize yourselves with the details of the old case and I will compare. This time I was dressed in all kinds of black clothing again, but instead of the rebel insignia, I was wearing a shirt with the Venture Brothers logo designed to look like a skull. I was stopped in front of the same gas station as before, but there was no backup. And instead of an attractive woman, the cop was a man. Still pretty attractive though, if you’re into that sort of thing. And I got some details on exactly why I was being questioned. Apparently it went beyond walking around a four in the morning. Get this: A man around my height with dark clothing has been, wait for it, Exposing Himself To People. I match the description of a Flasher.

You know, trenchcoats have a bad reputation, but usually I just have put up with the stereotype of dressing like all those idiot school shooters and psychotic loners and stuff. I mean, sure, I’ve had people comment on flashers wearing trenchcoats before, but generally that negative stereotype of we trenchcoat wearers is mentioned only occasionally. Now, the copper said the flasherman was wearing “dark clothes” so I don’t even know if he actually was wearing a trenchcoat himself or not. Either way, I hope he’s freakin’ happy making it just that much harder for people like me to wear trenchcoats and not be evil and suspicious looking.

Oh well. Stay tuned for the next adventure of PDR vs. RCMP, whenever it may occur.

If nothing else, I suppose this website should be a journal of my encounters with the law. From now on, every encounter with the police that I have shall be on here.

Tonight, about half an hour ago I was getting a ride home with a co-worker when we were pulled over for speeding I guess. As the one cop was dealing with the driver, his partner came to my side and asked for my identification as well. I don’t know if that is standard procedure or if my suspicious-looking demeanor brought it on, but it made me feel like part of the experience. I was informed that I have changed a bit since the photo was taken and this is correct, because I have not shaved in quite some. We also made small talk about the weather. So that’s my experience with the police for just now. Not as cool as the one last Summer when I was clearly suspected of being an evil man prowling the night. I guess cars make a difference.

In other news, apparently the current food crisis in the world has caused a raise in the price of rice to an extent that stores mentioned on the Daily Show and Colbert have been limiting the amount of rice that people can buy at any given time. It’s like a rice price crisis. And since I eat rice about four times a week I feel justified in saying this is potentially the Worst Thing Happening on this planet at this moment (I apologize to everyone being murdered right now. You’ll just have to do better next time). Of course, as believer in a world without currency I would like to see it solved by providing rice farmers with all they need to survive so that they can grow rice without having to worry about profits and all that. That might could help keep rice prices nice.

I’d also apply that logic to pretty much every food grower, service provider and good manufacturer you could name. If we all give everybody our stuff for free, they won’t need to charge us for theirs.

Sure, systems based on human decency seem like they’d never work, but you have to admit it would be nice.

It has been at least two years since the cops have stopped me for anything and even then it was just for not wearing my helmet while on my skateboard. But tonight, they stopped me when I wasn’t even committing that crime.

Since the guy I usually share a cab with is away for a month, I decided I’d walk down long dark Kearney Lake Road to cut some money off of my cab fare. It was all good (though I must admit I spent a lot of time thinking I really should have brought my board), except at one point I scared some deer. But the fun stuff happened just as soon as I hit civilization. I was heading for the gas station that’s open all night and has a bank machine when I noticed a cop car drive by me and very clearly look at me. I was amused and continued towards the gas station. I could sense the cop car circling around to take another pass by me. It may be worth noting that this is like four a.m. and I’m all sweaty from the walk and wearing black jeans, black shoes, my black trenchcoat and a black t-shirt. Pretty much the only thing not black is the Rebel Alliance insignia on my shirt. I’m awesome.

The cop car pulls into the gas station and in front of me and the officer (a hot lady officer, just for the record) and asks how I’m doing and so, you’re just out wandering, huh? Or something to that affect. I clarified that I had just walked down from Bluewater Road (about an hour walk) from work and the officer was all “okay” and I went in to use the ATM and buy juice and chocolate. When I got out, there were now TWO cop cars. I began to continue my walk, but the first officer now had a notepad and told me they would have to ask some questions. In the second car another officer (complete with stereotyped cop mustache and a partner in the other seat who said nothing and I don’t think was even paying attention) would ask me other questions while the first one was writing stuff down. In the end I gave out my name, age, address, phone number, job and exactly how my walk-so-far-to-save-on-cab-fare plan worked. All in all, it was cool. I walked away with a stupid grin (I’m sure I’m supposed to be indignant or something, but I so wasn’t). Rest assured everyone, when an evil and suspicious-looking man is walking the streets after dark, they are being watched. Even if they’re goody-two-shoes.

Now the best possible outcome I can think of for all this is that some sort of crime happened in the area and tomorrow I will be taken in as a suspect. Or better yet a “Person of Interest”. That would be way better than going to work. But even if that doesn’t happen, at least I had something to write about for a change.

Oh! The best part was when they asked my birth date because it is very close to today, so I totally felt like I was lying even though I wasn’t. Also, how many other people when asked their name by someone who is going to write it down first state then immediately spell their last name I’m all like “Patrick D Ryall R-Y-A-L-L” every time in that situation.

Anyway, that’s it.