It’s 1957 and Nat Taylor has a problem. He’s still making money on one movie, so he can’t play another movie in his theatre! OOHHHH NOOOOO! But then he realizes he can order the new one if he plays the other movie on his smaller screen. With that problem solved, he invents the multiplex.

I don’t want to diminish the achievements of Nat Taylor, I really don’t, but… is this really worth a Be A Proud Canadian commercial? I mean, sure, I like going to the theatre and having lots of screens so I can choose which movie I want to see on them, but that doesn’t seem… that great… y’know? It really is just… more screens. I consider this achievement less important than, say, education, healthcare, sexual equality, or Superman. When it comes to “national pride”, this isn’t even up there inventing or winning some ridiculous sport. Maybe it is just me and my unmitigated antinationalist boobery, but I don’t see how this is something to be proud of. It’s like being proud that you’re from the same country as the guy who invented bigger bus stops or something.

All that said, I like Nat Taylor as he is depicted in this piece. He’s got an old-timey Charles Foster Kane sort of businessman vibe. I also love his moustache and his cigar. I enjoy the way we start out in black and white (though it really took him fifteen years to realize “I can do more screens”?). I can’t decide if I like or hate the way he first unveils the fifteen screens and then, when questioned, reveals the full twenty-one. What is the point of that little momentary hiding of six screens?

There’s practically no music and no really good quotes (though I think I’ll like referring to foreign films as “this foreign movie” when I have a chance), but all in all, I don’t dislike this one. I’ll give it Three and a Half Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake.

Well, I guess they chose a Pope and I haven’t had a phone call or anything. I guess that means they picked somebody else. It figures.

Haiku!

Guess I’m not the Pope.
I guess they didn’t pick me.
Not yet anyway.

I guess maybe it is an alright outcome for now. I mean, obviously, I would be the best choice to run the Church, but since I kinda expect that I’ll be assassinated during my Papal career, I guess I can wait to be the next pope. Have a few more years before I dive headlong into gettin’ shot.

They say that there is a trend that a Pope will be quite different than the proceeding Pope. Fact: I am quite different from the proceeding Pope.

The Vatican Conclave to vote for Pope 2013 has started, I believe, and I have to mention again my availability for the job. I am literally sitting here ready, willing, and able.

I have to admit, I kinda don’t expect to be picked for the job. I think my radical plans for the Church would probably work against me among a large number of the Cardinals doing the voting. Also, the fact that none of them know that I exist. But, hey guys, if you elect PDR, it will be such a longshot that practically nobody will be able to deny the divine intervention. Make a miracle, Cardinals. Vote Patrick D Ryall for Pope.