If I ever kill a bad guy by kicking him out of a plane, remind me to say “Enjoy the Fall weather.”

9:35 PM - 23 Mar 2013

“How to make up an alibi” AND “Is Twitter a search engine?”

10:26 PM - 19 Mar 2013

This week’s superhero just wants to be left alone: bookofpdr.com/2013/03/17/sup…

12:21 PM - 17 Mar 2013

I will give Five Hundred Dollars to the first person to give me Two Thousand Dollars.

3:33 AM - 17 Mar 2013

Maybe I don’t get to be Pope, but it’s okay for now because I know that #PatrickDRyallisaTerrorist‘sWorstNightmare.

1:57 AM - 14 Mar 2013