I’ve awakened from a dream involving me and several other people I don’t think really exist going on a rescue mission to some island. I had to keep the crew in line by shooting them in the face with a pellet gun, though this left the pilot with a smoldering hatred of me, so when it came time to clean the roadkill off the plane so we could take off again he made sure I was forced to do it. It may seem strange that we had roadkill on the plane, but we actually did spend more time driving it on the ground than flying. Also I apparently smoked in the dream, but the pilot rigged up the cigarette lighter on the plane so it melted my cigarettes. Also one of the rescue team was a lesbian and the pilot made no less than three jokes about dropping her off at the isle of Lesbos. Also, for a rescue mission, I don’t remember actually rescuing anyone.

I consider this a strange dream that I had.

Haiku!

Namor watched the sky.
Somewhere up there was a blimp.
He plans to punch it.

Speaking of flying, if I ever happen to fall into a vat of cream of wheat and end up with Superman-style flying powers, I would find some long rigid wires and attach them to my shoulders pointing straight up. That way, when I fly, it will look like I’m on strings. I believe in messing with people.

This last weekend I slept in three different rooms in my apartment. Now, I’m fully aware that this is not an interesting fact, but it does allow me to title this post without it being blatant lies.

Haiku!

Danger from the moon!
We can’t hope to defeat it,
but we can join it.

Hey, speaking of terrible PDR Poetry, like two months ago some song lyrics came to me in the shower and I saved that as a draft on this site for posterity. Well, now that we’re trying to update the site I want to get rid of all the unpublished drafts, so I’m going to go ahead and put this here. It’s even stranger than my usual poetic attempts, but that’s okay because I can blame the shower. I give you, Puppets On Fire:

Runnin’ out of ammo and food again. Every day the same old thing.
If brains were bullets you’d have a knife, but that’s good enough for this damn life.

In our places we ate and cursed. Trapped in this spot what could be worse?
So that dark column blew across the sky. We watched it and waved goodbye.

If I didn’t have to pay rent, I could have all of my debt (both credit cards, my line of credit and my savings account overdraft fees) paid off in a year easily. All it would take is the money that I currently pay toward rent would go to the debt. Now I probably would not bother to do so, honestly. I would probably take a couple trips and see a couple of countries and eat french toast in them. But even so I could handily be debt free in three years or so. This just goes to show a point that I’ve always assumed was correct: Being homeless is clearly the most financially sound way to be. If only I didn’t need a place to keep all my stuff. And also to sleep. Apart from that, I bet the homeless are laughing all the way to the bank.

Haiku!

Twenty-four times ten
is two hundred and forty.
That was easy math.

Doing math also brought me another realization. There’s this “global experiment” (whatever that means) that challenges people to go through a month with only six items of clothing for a month. Since this doesn’t count socks and underwear and you are allowed to count multiple copies of the same item (example: all blue jeans count as one), I can pretty much say that I have unwittingly participated in this experiment, like, several times. Wasn’t hard.

As I write this I am just starting to watch the first episode of the latest season of QI. And last weekend began the latest season of the Venture Brothers. All in all television is really pulling its weight right now. I am quite pleased.

Haiku!

Big bears bit Bob Burns.
But Bob Burns bit bears back.
Top of the food chain!

Might as well mention some other television news while I’m on the topic: The latest season of Futurama is either going on now or just ended and either way I have found it relatively weak compared to the Golden Days of Futurama. Louie C.K.’s latest show, appropriately called “Louie” has been painfully funny. I guess that’s pretty much it for shows I’m watching at the moment… But it still enough that those who say television is a wasteland are proven wrong.

Hey, I forgot to mention. Last week I was opening the door to a cab and I hit myself in the face with it. It ranks up there with my best stupidest moments. Although it did not leave the amount of bruise I expected when it happened, it left a mark on my head for days. And it is still tender to the touch. I am impressed with my door-swinging strength.

Haiku!

War on Planet Grup.
Two powerful armies fight.
The biggest one wins.

In other news, I am now roommateless with Marq having moved to the other side of the city. Here’s hoping that that somehow translates into me writing more.