A Great New Comedy Joke For The Ages

Why did the snail cross the road?
Because it was chicken!


  1. This comedy joke alludes to a well known comedy joke that asks why the chicken crosses a road. That joke, an example of “anti-humour” because rather than giving a humourous reason for the chicken to cross the road, it gives the simple reason “to get to the other side” which is in no way a play on words or anything.
  2. The joke here is a transformative version of the chicken joke because it uses the format of the original, but switches in a different animal, and references the chicken only in the punchline.
  3. The punchline of this new joke is, in fact, humourous and therefore this joke is superior to the original.
  4. In colloquial English, calling something “chicken” can mean that they are scared.
  5. An individual who is frequently scared can be called “spineless” in a figurative sense.
  6. Snails are an invertebrate species, meaning one that has no spine, making them spineless in a literal sense.
  7. Ergo, the literal spinelessness leads to the figurative spinelessness, which leads to the colloquial terminology, which refers us to the original chicken joke.
  8. Other invertebrates could have been used for this joke, but snails seem the best option. They are funnier than many, such as worms or slugs, and some, such as jellyfish, would only be crossing roads in absurd situations which would require more explanation for the purposes of the joke.

WARNING: Do not tell this joke without relaying all the relevant information from the footnotes. The Book of PDR can not be held responsible for the reaction to the joke by audiences who are not given all the relevant information about how it is brilliant and funny.

Clowns Aren’t Scary

This has come up again, with the release of the new It movie a week or so back, but I just have to say, I don’t understand the fear of clowns thing. I am sure that some people legitimately have a phobia of them, but is it possible that some people who claim to be afraid of clowns are just kind of… hopping on the bandwagon? Because that is what it feels like to me.

Picture this: It’s late at night and you’re in your home at the edge of the woods. You hear something outside and you see someone standing at the edge of your property. They’re holding a machete, making threatening gestures, yelling obscenities, and dressed as a clown. In this scenario, the fact they are dressed as a clown is the least scary thing on the list, and that is how all depictions of scary clowns feel to me.

But anyway, that’s just some off-the-cuff thoughts on why I am not scared of clowns. But the real reason for this post follows: I checked my little site here and I can not find a joke that I thought up a long time ago. Possibly it was on Contains2, but it is just as possible I have never written it down. For posterity, this joke must be recorded.

What is the funniest side of a clown?
The suicide.

Phone Guys Sept 24 2012

All I got is Phone Guys again. So here’s that.

But I don’t want that to be all I offer, so here’s a comedy joke I just invented:

Why didn’t the dik-dik and the melon get married in Vegas?
Because a cantaloupe and an antelope can’t elope!