Half of this Canadian Propaganda Commercial is about a child freezing to death! Canada!

This one depicts a town that has too many sick people and not enough space to save them, right? So they all work together to make a hospital that provides its services for free. That’s nice. Although this Heritage Minute has none of the extreme quotability that I love for things for, it is about one of my favorite things about Canada, the free healthcare. That’s important in a country where kids freeze to death on a regular basis.

I also like the two guys who point out that since they’re the best builders in town, they can build a hospital. Of this, I approve. These aren’t two guys saying “we can build this hospital cheaper than anyone else in town,” because that would be insane. Who would want to live in a society where hospitals, or anything for that matter, was built by the people who can do it the cheapest? But anyway, I think I’m going to try to turn “We built the best barn, so we’ll build the hospital!” into something I can work into discussions. Hey, if I can fit “Oh Sire, until the end of time” into everyday conversation on a regular basis, I can do this.

But because that quote is not yet at the forefront of our culture, I can only give this one Three out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. It’s a rare case where I actually like the thing the Heritage Minute is about more than I like the Heritage Minute itself.

So, right before work yesterday I took the time to fill out the Canadian Census thing. As you all should know, I declared myself an independent nation years ago, but have continued on as a Canadian citizen as well for the sake of good relations. I expected this might lead to some problems with the government questionnaire, but only once did it even come close to being complicated:

“Is there anyone listed above who is a government representative of another country (for example, embassy or high commission)?”

Well, I’ve never really gotten around to figuring out how the government of Patrick D Ryall works, so I was able to honestly answer “no” to that.

It went on to not ask me any questions about my ethnicity (though it did make me feel bad for not having learned a second language yet). And I also never got a question about my religion. I was totally hoping to name my belief system so that maybe we’d be moving towards its acceptance as a belief system instead of just being the rantings of one lonely idiot.

Anyway, at work it was explained to me that what I filled out was probably just the mandatory short form census and that the optional long one would have covered all that. Oh well. Next time.

But hey, I took the option to have my answers revealed 92 years from now! Fame is coming my way!

I feel like I should be commenting on recent events in the world. There was this big wedding in England that everyone cared about and then forgot once Osama bin Laden got killed and also some kind of election in that country that borders the Nation of Patrick D Ryall on all sides.

On the former, I have to say that PDR is just not a big fan of weddings. I like the idea of marriages, but the whole big wedding to start them generally just annoys me. Now, I’ve had a good time at some wedding receptions, certainly, but the ritual, the ceremony, is usually boring to me. So seeing this blown up to royal levels in England, and then covered with fervor by the local newses (I only get one news channel, people. I need variety or I miss out on everything) made it even worse.

The night before the wedding we put a flyer into the newspaper at which I work that advertised plates with an image of Prince Whichever and his ladyfriend who were getting married. If even one person saw that flyer and thought “Oh, that looks nice, I should get that,” then I apologize for not sabotaging it before it could get to you. That plate was a waste of your money.

Similarly dominating the news, and more likely to have actual effects on the world I think, is the death of the most wanted terrorist. Perhaps my favorite aspect of this whole thing was a small blurb that was in last night’s paper that, if I may paraphrase from memory, went something like “some construction worker who had flown to Afghanistan to find bin Laden himself claims that his presence scared the terrorist leader out of the mountains to the city where he was found. The construction worker now wants millions of dollars for his services.” Possibly there is more legitimacy to the guy’s claim than the small article went into, but I would like to make it clear that my presence in this apartment totally kept Osama from being here. I’d be happy to settle for just a single million.

Haiku!

Rocketship captain.
Please don’t forget your loved ones
as you soar through space.

As for the Canadian election: Pretty much nobody I know was happy with the result so… sucks for pretty much everybody I know. But rest assured, the leadership of the Nation of PDR remains dedicated to maintaining peaceful relations with Canada while simultaneously trying to bring down the current form of society as a whole.

That’s it. Go away.

So there’s this professor who hates television So Much that he decides that the medium used to relay information is more important than the information relayed. Using this revelation that the “Medium is the Message” the professor decides that the content must be the audience. Becoming aware of the audience, he then breaks the forth wall to ramble at us with his crazy ideas. And I guess this guy is Canadian. Or else he wouldn’t be a Part of our Heritage now would he?

What? I saw this commercial dozens of times as a youth and I have no idea (zero actual idea) what the crazy professor is going on about. I’m sure that the idea that “the medium is the message” has some sort of meaning to people who have had it better explained, but it is not conveyed to me in this piece. It just sounds like he is “television is bad for you because the method used to educate and entertain someone is important and television is a bad method.”

I just don’t get it.

This one is weak. I can only give it One and a Half out of Six Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake because I only understand about 25% of what is going on in this one.

I don’t care what anybody else thinks, Mounties look awesome in the red outfits.

This time we’re looking at Superintendent Sam Steele, in action. He’s confronted with some American jerk comes along looking to make some quick monies in the Gold Rush and he is bringing some guns and gambling equipment into our fair nation with him. But see, Sam Steele, he’s the type of guy who does his job and does it without guns. Sam Steele uses his authority and his alliteration to get by. And by gum it works.

Aside from the line I’ve used incorrectly in the title and “Why didn’t I shoot him?” I guess there isn’t a lot of fun-to-quote lines, but hey it’s got a dapper moustachioed cop using peaceful tactics to keep his nation right. I like that. I like this one. I’m gonna go with Four and a Half Pieces of PDR’s Reviewing System Cake. Meanwhile, I don’t know a single other thing about Superintendent Sam Steele. I bet Wikipedia has a page. Maybe I ought to check it out.