So it has been about nine months since my last post. The reason being: I was adopted by pirates. That, or it’s been a few weeks and I’ve just been lazy. Though I can use the slowness of my spyware filled browser as part of an excuse…

Now, on a daily basis I come up with fascinating things to write about on my little journal thing (and as you readers know, on a bi-annual basis I actually get around to posting one!) so let’s see if I can’t remember some of the things that occurred to me over the past few weeks, lest this become yet another post in which my only content is a reflection of the lack of content.

Winter has hit us here in Hali-town. We’ve had several snowfalls already. We’ve probably already had a quarter or more of the total snows we had last year, which I don’t remember being quite so busy. I have noted that these days any time it snows is referred to as a
“snowstorm”. It’s never just snowing anymore, it’s always a “snowstorm” and the whole city shuts down and schools are cancelled and people start crashing their cars all over the place and all that. I think back to my childhood and remember us actually getting far more snow and the city not breaking down. My question is: Has the snow actually somehow become more violent even though it usually clears up before we get towering snowbanks, or has the city just become one big collective weather wuss?

It also occurred to me at one point during these weeks that I don’t know my own age as readily as a person is probably supposed to do. I have to think about it longer that I probably should. Is that a bad thing? A plus side is that I’ll be thinking about how I’m twenty-eight and then realize, oh wait, I’m not twenty-eight yet and won’t be for over half of a year and it’s like for a moment I got a free bonus year.

Haiku!

My suicide tooth.
I can break it when I want.
But can it break me?

A few weeks back there was a night when I only three hours of sleep (actually there have been several like that since my last post, but I’m talking of a specific one). The thing is, the dream I had felt like it took at least three hours if not longer. I understand the thing about dreaming actually taking place in a shorter amount of time than it feels, but it really felt like I’d been dreaming longer than I’d been asleep. Anyway, the dream was about me conducting job interviews for some position that doesn’t exist in reality at some business that doesn’t exist in reality. I apparently had two openings and four applicants (three women, one man). Over the course of the interviews it occurred to me that the man was a complete moron and that I’d two of the women would be getting the jobs and I was starting to get worried that people would talk about me filling the business with just women (you know, like “Look at PDR over there building himself a little harem…”) and I was spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to do it tactfully. It wasn’t easy considering I had been conducting the interviews in a crowded cafeteria with each of the applicants sitting at a different crowded table but totally able to hear the other interviews. At any rate, I managed to awake before I actually had to do anything. For the record, the third woman who was interviewed was also a moron.

Also for the record, outside of the dream, my harem is totally hiring.

I was going to do some commentary on Christmas as well while I was here, but this is long enough and why waste the content of a post I could do “tomorrow” right?

Sure he gave back the site peacefully, but I have to set an example or I’ll have people taking over my site every time I take a shower and stuff, y’know…

Since I have no idea when Patrick is coming home, if it is today or two days from now, I might as well concede and give him back his website. This, however, does not admit defeat. On the other hand, it is with complete annihilation looming that I am surrendering. How silly and frivolous of me to think I could do such a thing and get away with it.

I took apart the vacuum. Like, completely. And all I had to do was wash out each part in warm water. Just like that, new vacuum! If, oh, let’s say computers were made like that, we’d all be travelling back and forth to Mars already. Because that’s how awesome we’d be. Terraforming the red planet and everything.

Gotta go kick a raccoon outta his temporary home. Also, to commemorate this time well spent, let us not forget the wonderful banner that I made:

Beautiful, ain’t it?

Save the best for last,
–me.

Looks like we’ve been found out, and we’re most likely going to be punished when Pat gets home. Oh well. He’s going to have his hands full with Francesco anyway. I’m not dealing with that surly raccoon again.

And apparently I forgot it was Kip’s birthday, which is a cardinal sin or something, but that means Kip is as old as me now, so sinning should be fine at this point. For him and for me. Because we’re old, or something. Older than Pat, now, but his birthday is also this month, but he doesn’t like announcing that fact, so this is probably going to be censored. Boo! Censorship for censorship’s sake! Just because he has a printing press and I don’t. Totally not fair.

And I also don’t know when he’s coming home, because he told me the eighth before he left, but I found out that Terry will be home on the tenth, and Pat was coming home with him (but not on the same flight or something), so I may get a couple more days out of it? Maybe? It would be good since I am still trying to clean up parts of the apartment, but it’s been slow going since the vacuum became a teenager, or something. It just refuses to pick up stuff. Needs a new filter, or something. But darn, if I don’t like rearranging things. Also forces you to clean up, really clean up. Or something.

Be kind to children and small animals,
–me.

Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends, we’re so glad you could attend, come inside! Come inside! Is … is that right? Well, it’s actually Emerson Lake & Palmer, but because this is the digital age I can take whatever I want and make it my own and I don’t have to credit anybody or pay a thing! Take that, stupid record companies! (Disclaimer: I’s just quotin’, yo.) (P.S., now they can’t touch me! I win!)

Anyway, it’s me again, Patrick’s roooommmmate. Not Patrick. Maybe you didn’t notice the defaced header image up there. I’m taking over for the time being. Hopefully without his knowledge still. I’m also cleaning the apartment without his knowledge, and probably without his consent, too. It’s amazing how much there is to do. There’s no way I’m living like this when I move out. Unfortunately, I’m not exactly a clean freak either, so am I to blame for letting him get away with it? Hmm, conundrum.

I was seriously considering cleaning up his room, too, just to mess with his head, or do something like rearrange it, like I like to do with my own room every now and then. But then, like, the day after he left I kept hearing somebody rummaging around in his room, and it was totally messing with my head because he was supposed to be gone, right? Turns out a raccoon has currently taken up residence in his room. He wears a bowler hat, and talks with an Indian accent, and his name is Francesco. I’m letting him stay for the time being, but he really has to be gone the day before Pat gets home. So far, though, Frankie’s made some nice changes of his own, but the room is still generally a mess, so nothing has changed, I guess.

He also hates being called Frankie. And I’m not trying to be deliberate about it, but it slips out sometimes. Sorry, raccoon dude.

Before I forget again, I have to thank my good friend Colin for turning me on to ELP. It’s just one of those things, y’know? I never really heard of them up to that point, and they’re just amazing. Thank you, Colin!

Grand Sincerities,
–me.