I often find myself holding doors for people, and this is especially noticeable now that I’m in school where, if I’m not careful, I can find myself holding the door for my whole class before I even make a conscious effort. This is nothing new. I can remember being in elementary school and holding the door as kids filed in from recess. At that time I kinda wrote it off as having the benefit that I got to be the last one in if I held the door for everyone. Maybe there was some truth to that, but it isn’t like I got a free half hour off of school. I was seconds behind the person ahead of me. And it certainly can’t be the case now, because I have no desire to be the last one to class any more. In university there is no assigned seating and PDR NEEDS to be in his chosen seat. If I don’t get there quickly, someone else could get my spot. But I often still hold the door when other people are around.

Another justification for my door-holding actions has crept into my head lately. I wasn’t looking for an excuse, I just accept door holding as a thing PDRs do, but the excuse appeared in my head anyway. Since I’ve noticed what an amazingly effective means of sickness schools are, it occurred to me that by holding doors, I cut down on the number of people touching the doors, and thus cut down on the number of germs being spread. Now, obviously, the amount of germspread I am preventing is practically nil. These kids touch everything around here. Avoiding one door won’t matter. Te fact that my mind bothered to come up with this made me curious about my door-holding. What is the real reason behind it?

Deep down, I think that I just don’t like the motion that a door makes when it is being handed from person to person. That swaying, the corners of the door making lunges at the passers-through, only just being prevented from making contact. Those corners could hurt someone. One day, those corners are going to hurt someone. The doors are going to show their evil ways and bring ruin upon us.

Doors are the enemy. My vigilant hand is the only thing that is preventing them from taking over. I am the Holder of Doors.

Now, in case I haven’t made it clear enough yet, I enjoy being back in school. On the whole, I’d say it is a good thing. With that in mind, it’s time for me to complain about some more things I hate about school (or more accurately, probably, to complain about the same things I already have complained about, in different words).

I’ve got four essays due between now and the end of the term. I don’t mind that, really. I hate doing essays, but I can manage. Except one: For my History class I have to do what they’re calling a Research Essay, which means that I am expected to go out and do learning on my own, then write about it. Okay, fair enough, except that I am paying THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS because I was tired of doing my learning on my own and thought maybe going to school would be a nice change of pace. More than any other assignment I have to do this year, I resent this Research Essay for being a kick in my nuts.

The other thing I’ve got to complain about is the sheer number of tutorial groups they do these days. I am assured this was not always the case, but every English class I’ve got splits the class into smaller groups once a week so they can talk about whatever (this includes my Mythology class, which is technically a Classics course, but I lump it in among book learnin’ classes). These tutorial groups are headed by the Teaching Assistants who struggle to try to make the teen-agers talk by reminding us that our participation mark (usually about ten percent of the final grade, I think) depends on talking. Well, I don’t want to talk, consarnit. I am generally interested in the discussions, and occasionally I don’t even hate the kids in the class, but I still don’t want to participate in the discussions. As I have tried to convey before, I could be in a discussion with my six closest friends on Earth and I’d still get more out of listening that joining in. I suppose that it’s a good thing I don’t care about chasing for perfect grades.

It has come to the part of the year when I’m supposed to start thinking about what classes I need to take next year, so I’ve been doing that.

Every English class I’ve had so far has assured us that the more we read, the quicker we will get at it. I disagree. I read an awful lot and have done so for about as long as most of my fellow students have been alive. I remain a pitifully slow reader (as I said, just a while ago). By the claims that the English Professors are making, I should have plenty of experience points to make myself a reader guy of outstanding levels. But I don’t.

As I’ve said before, I specifically picked classes in which I’d read at least some of the reading material, to give myself a bonus head start, and in spite of that I still feel like I am behind. I look at the classes for next year and there is much less that I’ve read, so it is only going to get harder. I expect School Level 2 to really make me feel like an idiot.

(Every English class so far has also assured us that English degrees are much in demand in the job market. It really comes across as bad self confidence on the part of English departments)

Okay, remember how I mentioned that I wanted to get a bunch of work for school done last week? I did not get as much done as I would like, but I did some. That is something. I did an mathematical assignment for my Astronomy class, which I was happy to get through. I only have to do about four math questions a month for my Astronomy class, but it always takes me hours to get through.

I also managed to read two short stories I needed to get done, so that’s nice. I really realize what a painfully slow reader I am. Johnny Five I ain’t.

For essay-writing, I did nothing. I did plenty of researching, but I haven’t written one essay, and now I’m back in class, break’s over.

Haiku!

Seventeen rabbis
walked into thirty-two bars
to help out some jokes.

Also, remember the time I sat in some other class that was before one of my classes? Well yesterday I noticed that that class was not in the room before my class. Perhaps the had been moved somewhere else or the class had been cancelled, it doesn’t matter, what mattered was that I took the advantage of their absence to sit in class and do some work. While I was in there, a steady parade of students from the class usually held in that room would walk in, see that their class wasn’t there, and leave. This parade continued at least until the halfway point of the phantom class, meaning that they would have been a half-hour late if the class had been going. Even when the class isn’t happening, those kids still manage to make me think they’re idiots.

I feel like I should mention that I’m off school this week for “Reading Week”. I am legitimately trying to get things done during this time away from school, but it isn’t going as fast as I’d like. I have four essays due between now and the end of the school year, and three things of any respectable size that I need to read. The week is now halfway over and I don’t feel like I’ve got as much done as I should have, so I’ll have to double down for the rest of the week. I’ll get back to you on how much closer I am to being done those things in a couple days.