Did You Know: It is physically impossible to use the word “happiness” in a sentence.

Remember the sound of picking up treasure in Wolfenstein? I’d care about real treasure if it did that.

“Hammurabi was the Robocop of his day!”
“Beethoven was the original dubstep!”
“Napoleon was totally epic!”

I could be a terrible teacher.

Dear Person That Inevitably Murders Me

Today I bought a Twix but now I can’t find it. Kill me gently, for I have suffered already.

Thanks!

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