I used to occasionally check Google for strange sentences to see if anyone had ever said them on the Internet, and if not, put them in a post. Well, if I thought Google was unreliable in 2022, when last I did this, it’s downright anti-reliable now.

But I assume I can still populate my website with some fresh sentences even if I can’t check to be sure. I just need to make the sentences overly specific and complex and the odds are they will be new!

• “The wisest hamster in the bucket is still a hamster in a bucket.”
• “If you think about it, there’s no hair on the sun.”
• “Hey everybody, it’s new haircut day and that means we can all download our new haircuts.”
• “That coyote knows that the other coyotes think he’s an idiot.”
• “Hey Alvin, should we go taste the parking lot before it gets away?”
• “The national dish of Italy is a plate of grated potato dyed to resemble whoever is the current mayor of Palermo.”
• “The difference between a king and a peasant is how many racecars they’ve kissed.”
• “The dog with fleas is capable of running faster than the dog without fleas, because of all the extra legs.”
• “Sometimes the best way to fly to the doctor’s office is with a doctor copter.”
• “I want to ride the slime all the way through time!”
• “Baseball is the only sport in which the base is made of balls.”
• “If the internet has sentences on it, they were probably put there by Satan to trick people into believing that the Internet exists.”