Okay, the times continue to be changing for PDR.

This is the last full week of me doing the job I want to quit. After this it’ll just be two nights a week while I am in school. I am, as I have said before, disappointed in myself for sticking around those two nights a week, since I want to get out of there so badly, but I really, really do need the money*. And. who knows, maybe having something familiar on the weekends will help keep me from losing myself in the all the change? I guess. Is that an upside?

To help me with that I’ve got a new roommate. It’s another case of me taking in someone I don’t know, but I think it’ll work out better than last time. He’s already managed to pay me for the first month, which comes to more money than the previous one gave me at all. I can afford some food today! (I can, but I should probably still save it for food another day…)

Anyway, to sum up, I start school next week. Weird.

*Really.

Okay, so we’re probably around a month away from when I start school. Obviously the money thing is my biggest concern at the moment, but what about the other things I’m nervous about? I think I’ll talk about some of those this week.

First up: Daytime.

I have made sure that the earliest of my classes is scheduled at 11:30, so at least I don’t have to wake up with the sun like some chumps out there, but even that is pretty early for someone who has spent the better part of a decade living in the nighttime. And while I’ve got the excuse of working nights to explain why I was never up in the day, it is also a true fact that I prefer the night. It’s nice and quiet and I don’t have to put up with that terrible bright ball that is so intent on blinding me. I’m going to miss nights.

And what’s more, I’ll still be working two nights a week. That means I probably won’t be able to settle into a nice schedule. Not since the unhappy year of 2006 have I had to switch back and forth between days and nights on a regular basis. It was not at all pleasant then, so the fact that I will have to do it again now is not something I can look forward to. It could be rough. It’s not gonna be good for my morale.

The best way to deal with this is to look for upsides, so here is my upside for today: Five nights a week, I’m not going to be working. Sure, I’ll probably have homework or whatever, but apart from that I’ll actually be able to see some nights (even if I have to go to bed sooner), whereas most of my years of working nights meant that, while I was awake in the hours I like, I spent them doing this I didn’t. So who knows? This one could go either way.

It goes like this:

PDR: I think it would be best for me if I quit my job.
PDR: That sounds like a good idea.
PDR: Yeah.
PDR: Okay, but then what are you going to do?
PDR: I don’t know. I guess I could give school another shot. Seems like everybody thinks I should.
PDR: Right, right. Expensive, though.
PDR: I’ll get a student loan.
PDR: Okay, but I still hear that those aren’t really enough to go on.
PDR: Well, some kind of part-time job to supplement it would be alright.
PDR: Okay. Y’know the company you’re quitting is going to be short-staffed without you. They could use a part-timer.
PDR: Yeah. Alright, I guess I’ll do that.

So anyway, I have somehow been convinced to stick with my job for a few more months working two nights a week. I make it sound like I did it because I need the money above, and while I do need the money, it is really more that I don’t want to screw anyone over as I leave. I mean, I don’t care about the company as a whole, but there are people there whose lives I don’t want to make harder.

But also, the money is a part of my reason for accepting the part-time role. That makes me sad. Though, as of now, I’ve only agreed to go until the holidays are over this will bring me past that ten-year milestone I mentioned before. So I hate myself for that. I’m at some point where mitigating the monetary problems I’m soon to have seems like the wiser option, even if it partially deflates my reasoning for going back to school in the first place, which was to quit the job.

Ah well, nobody said I had to quit all at once. The end result should still be the same. I guess that is what matters.

Okay, now that I’ve officially given notice at work, I feel I can finally talk about this on the site: PDR is dropping out of job and getting a school.

Some time ago on this very website I wrote my thoughts on going back to school. To sum it up, it was basically: I hated school, but I’d go back if I could afford it. I still can not afford it, but… I’m going anyway?

This October would have marked my tenth year working of at the job I currently have (accounting for various promotions and such) and I really just don’t want to reach that milestone. I’ve not enjoyed the job, I’ve considered it a waste of large swaths of my life, in fact, but I stayed because I needed the money, you all know how it is. Well, my monetary situation isn’t improving, my debt remains, my attempt to get a roommate has proven useless toward money-getting, progress just isn’t being made, so what is the point?

Instead of continuing in this treading of water for another decade, I have decided to just dive in the opposite direction. I will weigh myself down with a student loan but, theoretically, I will be improving my life. Here’s hoping that this beats stagnancy for money.

I’m going for a degree in English. But the degree doesn’t mean much to me (and being a degree in English, it won’t mean much to other people either), what I want is the education. I want to get better at doing stuff I like, such as writing. In my previous schooling attempt I felt like it was the aiming for the degree that held me back. The main drawback, I feel, of going for a degree is that the school actually cares about how you get there. They have a whole list of classes they require you to take if you want that degree, even if you have no interest in those classes. But this seems mitigated for the English program. I have actually selected a handful of courses and, when I look over them, there isn’t one that makes me think “Ugh, I don’t want to go to that” based on the name alone (Things like Calculus or Physics would do that to me). I’ve got whatever actual English things I’m supposed to get, but I’ve also got a class on mythology, one on European history, and one on Astronomy. Obviously things may change as I see how the classes actually work, but for now, I’m kinda actually looking forward to this.

Let’s see how I feel about it a couple months from now. Whatever the case, I expect that I will be talking about my actual life on the site more often now that it contains something actually worth talking about. Let’s see how it goes!

I wonder what I wrote on Contains2 on October 3 2002

I Can Finally Not Enjoy Life Again!

“I’m sure I’ll be employed again by October…”
– Patrick D Ryall, September 2001

I just didn’t realize that I meant October 2002. But I just got a job. So now the scales have turned and over half of Contains2 is employed. We’re somewhat less cool.

I’m going to be a flyer inserter. I don’t know what that entails exactly, but I’m going in with the attitude that it will suck hardcore, that way if it does, I’m right and if it’s actually pretty mediocre, it’s better than I thought. I’ll be working Tuesday to Fridays, so I’ve got three off, that’s good. I start at eight in the morning and go until we finish that day’s work apparently. I make six bucks an hour, which is leaps above what I’m making without a job.

And I start tomorrow, so I have to try to sleep tonight. This is gonna be very hard, because I have to get up about two hours (or less) after the time I’ve been getting to sleep for the last few months. O, woe is me.

But I’ll have money!

Oh, that’s what I wrote. I guess I should check out October 4 2002 as well.

The Lowdown on my Jay-Oh-Bee

Well, it doesn’t suck hardcore. It’s just mediocre. Whew. I basically just show up in the morning (way too early by my standards) and then they tell me what job I’m to do. I can be doing any number of things that result in grocery store flyers being taken from their boxes to the sorting machines, or from the sorting machines to a different box. It’s very, very easy and of course very boring. But they give me money, so I guess it’ll do for now.

Most importantly, I was given free earplugs. Score!

I’m amazed that I only had three hours of sleep yesterday, and I wasn’t only not tired at work, but I’m still not. Go being awake!

And now I’m watching the TV shows I taped while trying to fall asleep then. Oh, Stephen Colbert, you crack me up.

Oh, I see now. Say, I wonder why I’m looking up stuff about the start of my current employment situation.