Sure, we all know about how the Dark Lord Char’Nagh visits us at New Years Eve now, but imagine how weird that must have been the first time it happened. Here’s a poem about it.
Dark Lord Char’nagh came to mark the year’s end,
his inky, wriggling form eclipsed the sun.
No one knew what his coming did portend,
for this was his first time on Earth: year one.
The humans down below grow quite afraid
at this strange monster writhing o’er their town.
“We must destroy this thing” the wisemen said,
the soldiers made their plans to bring it down.
But none could throw their rocks or spears so high
to reach the giant thing they wanted dead.
They thought their failure meant that they would die,
but Char’Nagh only gave them fleas instead.
Dark Lord Char’Nagh is not something to fear,
just the terror that comes with a new year.
So anyway, 2011 is over. Wasn’t the worst year. Now we’re starting 2012, which is, of course, the end of the world. Lookin’ forward to that!
Actually I thought the whole 2012 end of the world thing was cooler back in, like, 2002. It’s kinda played out now. But I honestly don’t think I could start the year without referencing it here. So I did. That is all.