This guy was totally baking a fried ham when it bit him. Surprised that his ham had a mouth, teeth and the necessary musculature to bite he took it back to the store from which he’d bought it. The storeowner explained that that particular ham was always troublesome. The man got his money back and the storeowner threw out the ham. The end.

That’s neither a joke nor a story, really. It’s just a paragraph about a ham that could bite.