So far being not at work is already feelin’ fine. I’ve gotten many errands done quicker than I usually do. And it’s only Saturday morning! Sweet. Let’s see if I can’t do something worthwhile with the time yet to come.

Of course, I’ve also got to waste some time. With that in mind we got Joust for the NES. I can’t say I’m any better at games than I ever was, but at least I’m playing a classic.

The only really pitfall of my time off is that my computer has betrayed me. Well, betrayed me is kind of a strong word. It implies my computer used to be on my side. My computers have always been about rolling their own way. I can hitch a ride and get some benefits from it, but they don’t really care if I’m doing well or not. This particular laptop had been doing strange things such as constantly turning the volume to maximum, making the letter “b” appear for no reason when I hit enter, insert, delete, right shift or the arrow keys and occasionally turns off its own ability to pick up wireless. Troublesome, but I was used to it.

But now it has all changed! Now it is constantly turning the volume to minimum, making the letter “c” appear for no reason when I hit enter, insert, delete, right shift or the arrow keys and occasionally turns off its own ability to pick up wireless. The primary problem with this is that, when my volume is maxed out, I can still listen to it. When it is minimal I can not. I have had music to play me to sleep since listening to the radio as a child and though I can sleep without it, I am convinced that I don’t sleep as well. I wake up feeling bad when I don’t have music as I fall asleep. I don’t know why, but it seems to be backed up. Also, without volume, watching the Daily Show and Colbert becomes pretty hard.

As for the change from letter “b” to letter “c”, that just freaks me out because I can almost imagine reasons why those buttons might accidentally write one letter, but for it to suddenly switch letters it just hurts my brain.

Computers, man. They’re complicated.

Apparently these problems are not uncommon with my particular make of laptop. I’m not about to open my laptop up and pull a plug any time soon as one dude suggests, but man I would like to. I just fear I would kill the computer in the process.

Anyway, later.

A year or two ago I bought a box of tissues solely because it had superheroes on the box. At the time I didn’t need them, I just liked that it had superheroes so I bought it. Hopefully revealing that weakness won’t lead to manufacturers of products like corkscrews and ladles adding heroes in the hopes of getting my sales. But anyway, I mostly forgot about them until this holiday season when I got something of a cold. Now needing the tissues and keeping the box by my side for several days I got to thinking about them once more, and now I must bring that thinking to the Internet.

There they are. They are out on patrol perhaps, notice a big monster and proceed to stop its rampage. That’s superheroes for you. I’ve no doubt that these guys are inspired by the Invincibles. They’re definitely a family.

First thought, I would say they are Environmentally friendly heroes. The green costumes. The slimy monster who eats trees and windmills (!!). The fact the tissue paper they sell was made of recycled materials. It all adds up. Perhaps they’re not like the Planeteers who only fight enviro-crime, but they certainly lean that way.

Individually:

• The little girl can fly and create some manner of, what appears to soap, which she throws at the monster. Perhaps she can create other things to throw and was just choosing something appropriate to the situation? The fact she keeps the pollution monster as a pet shows that she’s an idealist. Even that evil beast, she feels, could be redeemed with a little love.
• The boy, probably a young teenager has elastic powers. The way he raises an eyebrow before grappling the creature’s leg tells me that he is something of a jokester. But he is no loner. You can tell he likes being part of this family. Probably because they are superheroes and that’s awesome.
• Mom can fly and shoot some sort of energy from her hands. Either it’s a cleansing beam in accordance with the posited environmental theme, and this is why the pollution monsters shrinks, or it is just a straight-up shrink beam. Either way, that’s our finishing move for this skirmish.
• Now, the father is interesting. I have no doubt that his frame holds superhuman strength and probably nigh invulnerability. But what impresses me most is that he stays out of the fight. A coward? No, I suspect he knows that punching that thing’s face off is just going to make a mess and his family is more than capable without him. These guys have clearly done this before.

So that’s them. We don’t know their names or anything else about them. I have to wonder, though, did the person hired by No Name brand to create these heroes and decorate a box of tissues with them put more thought into them than went into the story. Is this a case of fictional characters who have been thought out more than their medium gives them a chance to show? Could their creator have given them names and origins or were they but a moment’s work and then forgotten. Were they a labor of love or a mercenary way to spend a day drawing?
Either way, this post is a monument to these forgotten heroes. We salute you! You’re still better than Aquaman.

I AM PROBABLY THE FIRST PERSON TO TALK ABOUT THESE GUYS ON THE INTERNET. I WIN.

My cold is totally better now.

I am not on the Twitter. I would say my most concerning issue with it is the limit on characters. Not often can my thoughts be summed up in less than two hundred characters. This is because my thoughts are complex and manly.

I have pondered such ideas as getting a Twitter account and saying nothing beyond “I’m on Twitter” once a day, or just using it as a link to posts on this here site, but even those are too much work for me to actually bother, it seems. But it has recently occurred to me that Twitter does have a distinct advantage: Instant posting. If I had one of those mobile devices that everyone has I would be able to put up my Twitter-thoughts as soon as I have them. Never would I forget what I was going to say before I got to a computer that would allow me to get to my website.

All of this discussion is because when I got home from work last night I had some idea in my head that I was sure would be an awesome post and when I woke up I had forgotten it. So you get this instead. Complex and manly.

For me, this has been a weekend of naps. While this is enjoyable on occasion, I hope I don’t make a habit of it. Still, I had me some good naps.

Haiku!

Love the letter T.
Without it, where would we be?
Also, love your legs.

Amid naps I got a new level of Adventure Dennis up, though. So that’s cool. And I see no reason I won’t find some old Contains2 story and put that up later tonight.

Also, I get the impression that Geocities is supposed to be dead by this point, as I spoke of in the past. I still seem to be able to reach the ol’ AWBC, though. The suspense is literally making me wonder when it is going to die for real.

I have just uploaded the latest chapter of Adventure Dennis. It is worth noting that that rounds out my average to one level for every year since I started making Adventure Dennis. That is, of course, pathetic. I am hoping to actually finish the thing off over the next few months, so maybe I will be able to get that average up to 1.5 a year. Hooray!

Haiku!

In these troubled times,
There will come a unique man.
He will eat a moon.

In other news, I have been reading the Iliad and it is taking me FOREVER. I mean, getting through Don Quixote actually took most of a year, I think, so the two months I have been at the Iliad are paltry in comparison, but for the last year I had been working through about a book a week. It might help if I read at home instead of just at free moments at work and on buses and what not, but I have the Internet at home. Productivity just ain’t gonna happen.

Also, ducks should have a species of fish that helps them out. That would be real teamwork.

That’s all.