10) It would benefit the economy. Creating jobs is a popular sentiment. And PDR’s Butler is a job.
9) Since I do not feel I am myself better than servants, we would have a strong bond of equality between us. This means the butler would enjoy serving me as much as I enjoy being served.
8) It would be educational. I would learn more about butlers. And that would benefit everyone, probably.
7) It would expand my horizons. The butler could introduce me to new kinds of cookies that he knows that I’ve never tried.
6) If I had a butler, people would think I am better off than I actually am and that would lead them to treat me as if I were a rich dude. That would make it much easier for me to become rich.
5) He would be able to give me more reasons to have a butler. Butlers know all about reasons to have butlers.
4) Butlers have connections. A butler could hook me up with a chauffeur and a chef and a maid and so on.
3) I could talk to him about Brontosaurs. Butlers love that!
2) It would prevent terrorists from saying I don’t have a butler. We’re supposed to be opposing the terrorists right?
1) I’m incompetent at most tasks. If I had a butler to do these tasks, he would do those tasks better than I do and therefore the world would be a better place.

So, if any governments want to pitch in and pay for someone to be my butler, let me know.

In other news, I found the note I left for myself that March 25th is International Robot Day according to me. I totally forgot to celebrate it this year. This will not happen again.

I wonder if I could ride a unicycle. I try to imagine it in my head, without ever having been on one, and I can’t really tell if it should be hard or not. Someday I’ll have to try.

Haiku!

Women with lasers
protect the moon from vikings.
We thank you, ladies.

It is International Women’s Day, I guess. I’ll just get it out into the record that even though the the Nation of PDR has a 0% female population, it supports the rights of women everywhere and we strive to maintain good relations with them. In the meantime, I bring you a classic PDR story that I honestly thought was already on the Book of PDR: The Reason Women Were Allowed To Vote.

“I think I have some Mentos around somewhere… No, I better save those for the weekend.”

This is something I actually just said to myself. I was wondering if I had anything to eat. Being poor sucks. To eat between now and next Wednesday (pay day) I have three microwave vegetable/rice deals, some oranges, some matzah and that one pack of Mentos I got for Christmas that has been sitting around since. Just call me Rich Uncle Pennybags.

And yes, I did say that out loud. I like talking to myself. As for those who like to say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity, I make the same case for talking to other people, so shut it.

So, for Christmas I was given a Superstore gift certificate for 100 dollars. Then I noticed that I apparently had to spend it all at once because if I did not, I did not get another certificate that made up the difference. I live directly above a Superstore, so it is nothing for me to just go down what I need at any given time. I don’t have to stock up. I typically spend about twenty bucks on a shopping trip. A hundred dollars? I’m not confident that I’ve ever bought that much at once. But then I figured, I have a web site where I keep track of all PDR-related minutia so when I buy a hundred dollars worth of groceries, I should take a picture of it all.

And That Is What I Did:

So there we go. PDR’s Most Groceries.

Now let’s see how much of it I will actually use before I begin to fear that it is going bad.

On the topic of purchasing things, I did not buy any nails last year. That may seem like an even more unimportant detail than my previous groceries, but here’s the thing: Not buying nails was my New Year’s Resolution for that year! So I did it! Hooray!

I forgot to make a resolution this year.

I guess that is all for today.

I’m afraid that’s all I’ve got for you this week. But hey, if we’re going to follow their exploits, I think that it is important to know why the Pete and Jeremy don’t do texting. So now it is settled.

Oh well. I can’t let that be all there is for the first post of the New Year, so here’s some nonsense image I had on Contains2. I have no idea what it is all about and I don’t think I did when I put it there either:

Also, I’ve just finished making a list of the books which I have read and own to compliment the list of my DVDs which was already here.