If we ever do discover intelligent life on another planet, how long do we have to draw on their corn before we reveal ourselves to them? 11:53 PM - 24 Feb 2016
The other night I dreamed I was doing a jigsaw puzzle and I didn’t finish it before I woke up. I’ll never have closure on that. 6:04 PM - 22 Feb 2016
I see that “Earth” is trending. I hope that doesn’t mean that Earth is dead now too. Come on, 2016. 6:20 PM - 05 Feb 2016
If you own a dog, I am willing to pretend to listen to you talk while I pet it. 10:52 PM - 03 Feb 2016
