Red sky at night, climate’s alright. Red sky in morning, there’s Global Warming.

5:55 AM - 11 Apr 2016

What’s the funniest side of a clown?
The suicide.

2:24 AM - 11 Apr 2016

Back in my youth I was known as the fifth Smash Mouth.

9:50 PM - 06 Apr 2016

I am sorry to be the one to break this to you, but you are spending part of your life reading something I wrote on the Internet. Sorry.

5:53 AM - 03 Apr 2016

For Sale: Ghostproof helmet. Never worn.

6:38 AM - 02 Apr 2016