My god! This chicken tastes like… me!

5:54 PM - 14 Jan 2014

Keep pretending that you don’t see them. If they think you can’t see them, they might stop stabbing you.

9:09 PM - 12 Jan 2014

Hey watermelon: gimme you insides.

6:15 PM - 10 Jan 2014

Take a moment to stop and think about how many butt cheeks are in the world.

12:21 PM - 06 Jan 2014

Life is short and has a Napoleon Complex.

11:37 PM - 05 Jan 2014