As far as I know, there is no horse meat in a @twix bar. #horsies

1:08 AM - 17 Sep 2015

I bet the hardest thing about a tonal language would be pronouncing words while holding live baby birds in your mouth.

2:21 AM - 14 Sep 2015

If anyone feels like buying me a television, a Nintendo, and Mario Maker, I will gladly repay them in kind words.

10:36 PM - 12 Sep 2015

Science Fact: The Pacific Ocean is so large it is visible from space.

5:19 PM - 09 Sep 2015

Got a spam email saying it could make me look twenty years younger. You know, in case I wanted to recapture the suaveness that was me at 14.

10:06 PM - 08 Sep 2015