Adam: The Beekeeper Chronicles, Chapter Fifty

“I lost so many bees,” said Adam. “I keep losing them.”

Adam was sitting on the roof, watching his hive. Dante sat nearby, nursing an energy drink. Gladys stood by the edge and watched the city.

“If it helps,” said Dante, “we wouldn’t have won without those bees. They died as heroes or whatever.”

“True,” said Adam. “I nearly died.”

“You get used to it,” said Dante.

Adam placed a hand on his bandaged shoulder. “I do not want to die like this.”

“You’re trying to make the world better, Adam? You probably won’t have a choice how you die.”

Me Yesterday: Hey, I should get some onions for when I make nachos tomorrow.

Me Today At Store: Hey, didn’t I want onions for something? What was it? For a smoothie? No, that’s dumb. I don’t need onions.

Me Now, Cooking Nachos: Dammit I hate me.

Hey @Spotify I think your whole thing is broken. It plays all kinds of songs that aren’t Baba O’Riley. I mean, it’s okay because it still plays Baba O’Riley, but there’s just all these other songs on there taking up space. You should fix that.

Imagine going back in time and telling the historical St. Nick about his legacy. He’d be all like, “Aw man, Tim Allen?”