As I left the elevator, two young men were getting on. As I proceeded across the lobby I heard one of them say something along the lines of “Did you see that? That guy was packing!” and I don’t know what that was about.

• “Packing heat?” I was unarmed. Perhaps it was just one of those trenchcoat stereotype things?
• “Packing wood?” I had no erection. Perhaps my pants bunched up to make it look like I did?
• “Packing a lunch?” I didn’t have any food. Perhaps the guy smelled food and assume I was making lunch for myself?
• “Packing on the pounds?” No more so than usual. Perhaps that guy saw me a lot when I was really thin and has not seen me since?
• “Packing more than you bargained for?” I don’t think I am. Perhaps I am?
• “Packing for a trip?” I had no luggage. Perhaps the fact I was walking was equated with travelling in that dude’s head and he assumed I was preparing to leave?
• “Packing fudge?” I was not engaging in homosexual intercourse. Perhaps sometimes when I get off elevators I look like I’m doing gay sex?
• “Packing the buck?” The word is supposed to be passing. Perhaps that guy doesn’t know idioms well?
• “Packing peanuts?” I am not made from styrofoam. Perhaps I look like I would keep valuables safe during shipping?
• “Packing smashers?” I don’t think that means anything. Perhaps that means something?

So anyway, I don’t know what’s up, but I might be packing. Just… keep that in mind.