Seeing how easily other people’s childhoods are apparently ruined, I have to wonder how I ended up with such a bulletproof childhood.

6:10 PM - 31 May 2016

I don’t care what the PC Police have to say, I think a glass of ice water is very refreshing and I enjoy it.

5:23 PM - 29 May 2016

Hey, even a broken calendar is right twice a year, right?

6:41 AM - 26 May 2016

It’s pretty sad that even in this, the 21st Century, we still don’t have flying owl-shaped robots that bring me fresh fruit when I wake up.

4:26 PM - 23 May 2016

I’m so thirsty I could drink from a glass with a picture of a horse on it.

8:03 AM - 20 May 2016