Micro Adventures Disassembled Part 3: The One Where Hawkeye Dies
Previously, on Micro Adventures Disassembled:
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And now, The One Where Someone Hawkeye Dies
v
: "Please disperse. There is nothing for you to see here."
: "Are you sure? It looks like The Worst Day In Avengers History to me."
: "I heard Hank Pym died."
: "No, that was just Scott Lang."
: "Then that's OK!"
: "Perhaps you didn't hear me. I told you bums to get out of here!"
: "Is he insulting us?"
: "Probably."
: "Of all the days to take a cheap shot at us, he chooses this one?"
: "Insult? Cheap shot? What are you, retarded?"
: "....."
: "You don't have to answer that question, Wonder Man. Fury, leave us alone!"
: "Don't you
people get it? I'm not here to insult you. Jack of Hearts blew up here.
This whole place could be radioactive, and we have no idea what the
effects could be. You wanna wake up a clam or something?"
: "He was trying to protect us?"
: "Did he have to be such a jerk about it? He couldn't have just asked nicely?"
: "Your answers are 'Yes' and 'No'. It's more fun this way."
: "And as if we didn't have enough bad news today..."
: "The UN has severed all ties with us, after Stark's drunken outburst."
: "And the voices tell me an Avenger will die this day."
: "....you realise three Avengers already did die, don't you? Or was it two?"
: "Does Jack really count, if he was already dead?"
: "Don't confuse me. All I know is, someone else will die today. Someone whose codename begins with the letters 'h' and 'a'."
: "Hank Pym?"
: "Hey, look behind you! It's the Goodyear Blimp!"
: "That's no blimp! It's..."
: "A freaking Kree mothership! Run away!"
: "Wait for me!"
: "Cowards! It's time this team had a new leader!"
: "Let's have a vote! I do love democracy!"
: "Kree! Kree! Kree!"
: "Avengers, scatter!"
: "Fight back, you chumps!"
: "Blood! Blood for Satan!!!"
: "Yeah, more like that."
: "And you guys just let them get away with all that?"
: "So long as it doesn't make the news? Sure, why not?"
: "Blood! Blood for Hitler!!!"
: "Oh Lordy, you just KNOW that's making the news."
: "Do your part for the team and pretend you never heard it."
: "Die, humans!"
: "Dude! Skrull!"
: "What do you want? I'm busy."
: "What are you even doing here?"
: "I am B'Tok of the Skrull! I am here to...uh...I have no idea."
: ".......OK."
: "We're outnumbered!"
: "And we're surrounded!"
: "Now is the hour of your doom, Earth-men!"
: "Weesa gonna die now?"
: "Hawkeye's back!"
: "Now that the government has equipped me with two shields, and two teenaged boys, I can win this war-on-Kree single-handedly!"
: "Single-handedly? Then what are the boys for?"
: "That's classified information, soldier."
: "Ah, a ringside seat for the end of the Avengers!"
: "Kang? You're behind all this?"
: "No, I just thought I'd bring my boys down here to watch your team's last mission, and the death of an Avenger."
: "So you know who dies?"
: "Of course we know. But telling you would be cheating."
: "If you won't tell us, we'll beat the answer out of you!"
: "Here's a hint, Hawkeye. Look behind you."
"Oh, crap."
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Stop it, dammit, I'm jumping and dodging!"
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Stop killing me!"
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Ow! Ow! Ow!"
: "Oh my God, they killed Hawkeye!"
: "Told you."
: "NnnooooooooooooOOOOOoooooOOOOO!"
"Run away!"
: "That's for Hawkeye. Now don't come back!"
: "Poor Hawkeye."
: "We'll miss him."
: "There'll never be another like him."
: "....Hawkeye. I can't believe he's really gone."
: "You think that's bad? You'll never guess who's behind all this!"
: "No, I probably won't."
: "I know who it is!"
: "Aw, come on, Captain. It's so obvious. You're not stupid, are you?"
To be concluded!
The above is a parody. All characters ™ © Marvel Comics.
All micros property of their respective designers - if you want to be credited, e-mail microadv (at-sign) graffiti.net.