Okay, so money makes the world go around, right? Isn’t being rich, like, the ultimate goal of living? It sure is. But PDR is currently planning for what happens after he gets rich.
Let us assume that PDR somehow contracted wealth. Like he won a lottery and now he’s one of those low-level millionaires or something. It’s a start. To PDR it seems like this: Society would work a lot better if we did it as a team. As it is the entirety of society is quite wrapped up in money. Indeed even the health of a country is measured in its economy. And I see how money is supposed to work, it’s supposed to ensure that everyone gets a job and contributes to society or they get poor. Except it hasn’t been working. What we’ve got is a buttload of jobs that people work that don’t actually benefit any aspect of society except for the economy.
My plan is to fight this: I propose we work towards a society where people working jobs that contribute to society are rewarded by being in a society that looks after one another. The motivation not being “Must avoid poverty” but rather “This is a good society, I want in.”
It will not be easy. So I’m roughing out a plan. As stated, it starts with me having a few million dollars:
- DON’T RUSH: Okay, first up, I would not move. I don’t need a mansion and there’s no point in leaving the apartment for some place more expensive when that money would be better spent elsewhere. And, while it is tempting leave in a blaze of glory, I might even stick with the current job for a month or two just to keep the income from dropping away immediately. Need to keep it steady and not throw away funds.
- GET HENCHMEN: Right off the bad I need to surround myself with people who know what the heck they are doing to make up for my… difficulties. A lawyer, an accountant and an assistant are the immediate necessities. They will help me to protect myself from the various forces working against us. I assume the lawyer would have to be first. Then I’d get their advice on accountants and how exactly one goes about legally hiring an assistant. The assistant will have to drive me around and stuff.
- INVESTING: That’s what accountants are for, right? Presumably they could help me to figure out how one invests wisely. All the same I won’t invest in just anything. Things I invest our money in need to benefit the world in some way. I’m thinking medical research and anti-pollution stuff and education. That’s stuff you can invest in, right? If not we’ve got problems as a species.
- GET TECHNOLOGY: Top of the line computer. Allow at least two thousand bucks to be spent here. I want something with memory and speed and all the programs I’ll need to create more webcomics and games and cartoons and stuff. These projects will are the things I enjoy and who knows, maybe they’ll add a few more bucks to the cause. Similarly I would want to do more writing. That doesn’t really require a top-notch computer, but I would probably do well to get a freaking chair. A side bonus of the supercomputer is that it will be much more effective with the World Community Grid than my laptop is. Also, one of those fancy phones that all the cool kids have these days with all the cool applications would be beneficial for keeping in contact with everyone I’m working with.
- HELP THE FAMILY AND FRIENDS: One of the common threats that people with wealth face is the family and friends who may make known their desire to mooch off of it. I have trouble saying “no” to that kind of thing, but I will have to learn. That said, I need to make sure all the family has homes and cars and stuff so long as they can be counted on to help with the mission in their ways. Make sure any cars bought are environmentally sound, of course. In the case of friends, help free them from any particularly bad debts they have so they are not financially pigeonholed into jobs that help no one.
- REALITY TELEVISION: If at all possible, we have to make sure there is a continuing source of income. No matter how rich Hypothetical PDR gets, he’ll be spending a lot of money to get this plan working. We all know my writing isn’t going to be keeping us rich forever, so we have to try something else. At this point in our mission, I propose a Reality Television Show. Hear me out! We find someone who can make a show and we hire some fresh young personable people to be the hosts and we make a show about how we are spending our wealth to make the world better. The cameras follow us along on jobs (picking up litter, building houses, planting trees, sterilizing stray cats, fixing potholes, charity fundraisers, stopping light pollution, and so much more) and also have experts and scientists interviewed to help the audience learn more about why we need to improve the world. It’s like one of those home makeover shows, but instead of a home, it’s society. The charisma of the hosts would be of utmost import because I suspect most of the actual work would be boring. If it works well enough, we can make money with DVD sales and t-shirts and stuff. If it works, the show would be one of the major sources of actual good deeds as well. Note: I think the show should open with quotes from famous people throughout history that are in line with our thinking. A running total of our funds should also be regularly displayed so that we are completely transparent in our spending. Also it would be good to adopt a dog from the pound to act as the team’s mascot. People like dogs.
- THE APARTMENT BUILDING: A major element of the plan is getting a building, preferably built from the ground up, and having that as our headquarters. This is also probably the single most expensive aspect of my plan. If the show is making money we can work the erection of the building into there as an ongoing part of the cause. The apartments will be nice, sizable and soundproof and all that stuff, so that people will be willing to live in them. And then we’ll fill the building with people who are willing to help the cause. If possible we will let them live there for free, but more likely we’ll have to charge some small amount of rent to keep things running. But the key idea is to take the huge part of the cost of living that is paying for a place to live and free people from it so that those resources can be spent in more sensible areas. Anyone who wants into the building should be working in some field that actively helps the world or at least they should help our cause when they have the free time. On the second floor of the building, perhaps, we could have offices and meeting rooms which would be useful.
- BOTTOMLESS HIPPOPOTAMUS: The ground level of the apartment building is the store/arcade. Filled with arcade games, skee-ball and stuff like that we could say we’re helping keep the youth out of trouble, but I don’t know how much that actually works. Worth a shot, I guess. Mostly I’ve just always wanted to own an arcade. But we will genuinely try to make it a good one. We’d sell healthier snacks and refreshments than your stereotypical arcade at any rate. And throw in one of those dancing games they have and suddenly it is almost like we’re keeping kids physically active. We would also make sure there is room in here for fundraisers and benefits to be held. The store will sell merchandise from the ventures of the cause, along with, perhaps, things from other local businesses that are willing to work alongside us. A bulletin board for community use would not hurt either. I expect the income from here won’t amount to too much (after all, no arcade actually seems able to stay in business), but every bit helps. Also nice, after hours when I don’t have to put up with the presence of people and children, I could play on the arcade!
- SCHOLARSHIPS: If we’re still pretty secure in our income by this point, I see no reason why we shouldn’t start paying people who need education. I propose maybe one a year alternating between a local poor dude and a foreign poor dude. If they plan to use school to help themselves get into a position genuinely helpful for the world, we help them pay their tuition. Then, when they are all graduated it’s like we have a new ally out there somewhere to make our team one person stronger. As the graduates spread throughout the world, so too do our connections. And if they need a place to stay while they are in school, the apartment building works for that as well.
- SPREAD: If we’ve made it far enough for this to be a concern, I suspect we may be onto something. Hopefully creating jobs and reducing the cost of living and helping education will have improved Halifax somewhat. If it seems to actually have done so, it’s time to begin anew somewhere else. Staying within Canada would probably be best so that I don’t need to deal with Work Visas or immigration or anything, so Toronto seems like an obvious choice. Or Vancouver. But anywhere we can get a community strong enough to work together for the benefit of their society instead of fearfully living to make money, we can grow. If, as I say, we’ve successfully lasted long enough for that to be an option.
- OTHER STUFF: There’s plenty of other ideas to go through and though they are listed here at the end, many of them can be worked with as we do the stuff above: I’ve read about a program in Cape Breton that helps ex-convicts find jobs and it would be nice to support that. I’ve always liked the idea of creating as complete a genealogical family tree as possible. We could help out with vaccinations. It would be a good idea to help children get into reading. We could see about getting power lines put under ground. If any anarchic protests cause damage to the city, I feel it would be good to repair the damage quite publicly so we show that idiotic protestors do not represent the entire liberal spectrum. We should create some sort of trade-in program for older cars so that people will get healthier ones.
So, you might say that my plans for what I would do with my riches are pretty outlandish. You’d be right, but since my being rich is a pretty outlandish thought anyhow, I might as well go all out.