All I’m saying is, if you drown a litter of kittens, it is better for the environment than letting them live. Puppies too. #Romney2012

Is it mortally wrong to murder a baker to feed him to your starving family? I sure hope it isn’t.

Never trust a good idea. That’s my motto. That’s what got me where I am today.

My first genie wish will be for a pet dog that vomits milkshakes when you pull its tail. I’ll name it No Milkshakes so that nobody knows.