We who prefer our salads sans dressing are the most persecuted group on this Earth.

1:04 PM - 08 Jan 2013

Okay. Listen: Glow In The Dark Nail Clippers. So… Am I rich now?

10:37 PM - 05 Jan 2013

I wonder if I’ve already met the person who’ll murder me…

12:48 AM - 02 Jan 2013

You can put a man on the moon, but you can’t make him drink.

9:49 AM - 31 Dec 2012

Two solid days of reading the John Dies At The End sequel and now I’m done. Now, sadly, to readjust to not being reading it.

6:14 PM - 28 Dec 2012