An August Poetry Parade

It has been a long, long time since PDR flexed his poetry muscles. Here’s some poems, you crotchbrains:

I’ll kick it off with some haiku. To warm us up.

An old man in France
went to a zookeeper’s house.
They talked about cows.

Your eyes are on fire!
Dear god! Someone do something!
How did this happen?

Argax the Mighty!
He’s mighty and named Argax.
That is his whole deal.

And now some other poems:

The Leaves Will Soon Be Turning

The leaves will soon be turning
into vampires.
If you don’t protect yourself
you will expire.
Vampire leaves
hang from trees
like bats on the roof of a cave.
Beware at night
when they take flight
and try to send you to the grave.
The leaves will soon be turning
into vampires.
The only way to stop it is
forest fires.

Tom’s Day

Tom sat in a chair.
He was perfectly happy there.
Top was not standing
Nor sleeping at all.
He was just seated,
The chair preventing a fall.
Tom sat in his chair
and was perfectly happy there.

This Poem Is Going In Your Face

The words that make this poem
will invade your personal space,
by barging into your eyes
and being in your face.
There’s nothing you can do,
It’s much too late to stop it.
All of these syllables
are now in your eye sockets.
There’s no point in resistance.
You’ll find help in no place.
The invasion is now over.
This poem went in your face.

Worried about rising sea levels caused by Global Climate Change? Well just start digging holes at the bottom of the ocean. Thank me later.

Book it!

Ooooohhhhkay. Detective Made Easy, the latest of John Swartzwelder novel about Frank Burly is out. As is tradition in the Nation of PDR, this means it is National Bookorderin’ Day! That’s the day when I’m supposed to get all kinds of the books I want to read in a single order from the Internet. Here’s the thing, though. I was already given Dave Barry’s Insane City and Max Barry’s (no relation) Lexicon for my birthday, so I don’t need that much. And to make it worse, just today I noticed an email from school saying that the Comics and Cartoon’s class I am starting next week will has changed professors and, with that, changed the books we need to read for the class. This means that four of the books I got and read over the Summer are now unnecessary and I will have to get and read other books for class. Ugh.

So anyway, the moral of the story is that I’m getting Detective Made Easy for National Bookorderin’ Day, but apart from that, it’s all about school.