Looks like we’ve been found out, and we’re most likely going to be punished when Pat gets home. Oh well. He’s going to have his hands full with Francesco anyway. I’m not dealing with that surly raccoon again.

And apparently I forgot it was Kip’s birthday, which is a cardinal sin or something, but that means Kip is as old as me now, so sinning should be fine at this point. For him and for me. Because we’re old, or something. Older than Pat, now, but his birthday is also this month, but he doesn’t like announcing that fact, so this is probably going to be censored. Boo! Censorship for censorship’s sake! Just because he has a printing press and I don’t. Totally not fair.

And I also don’t know when he’s coming home, because he told me the eighth before he left, but I found out that Terry will be home on the tenth, and Pat was coming home with him (but not on the same flight or something), so I may get a couple more days out of it? Maybe? It would be good since I am still trying to clean up parts of the apartment, but it’s been slow going since the vacuum became a teenager, or something. It just refuses to pick up stuff. Needs a new filter, or something. But darn, if I don’t like rearranging things. Also forces you to clean up, really clean up. Or something.

Be kind to children and small animals,
–me.

Yesterday was Canada Day, and Pat is still in China, so to celebrate these three nations we’ve decided to combine them all. Somehow. I’ve yet to determine how this is going to be a good idea, but whatever. In fact, I really have no idea how to include Patrick into this as a nation, other than this being his co-opted website, but hey, keep watching.

• The Canadian Open (golf tournament) + Chinese Checkers = one messed up game. Think about it.
• Chinese fire drill** + Canadian goose = watching a bunch of geese in a flying V going south for the winter: stopping in mid-air, loop-de-loop and circle around each other for ten seconds, then getting back into formation and flying off as if nothing happened.
• The Canadarm + “China has a space program?!” = the Chinarm, wherein we can now have gigantic robot arm wrestling in space. The future is sweet.
• China Syndrome + Canadian whisky = alcohol so potent, it burns itself into the ground. They probably have that already. I wonder what they call it.

Wow. That was harder than it looks, and I’m fresh outta ideas. Not to mention, I couldn’t figure out a way of including Pat in there. Sorry, country-dude, but you need to beef up your exports, or something.

** For the record, Wikipedia says “thus the expression ‘Chinese Fire Drill’ is the act of a group of individuals accomplishing nothing.” I beg to differ. Whoever happens to witness such an event would (hopefully) be amused, or confused, or both. That’s gotta be worth something.

Celebrating the world,
–me.